The Day You Went Away

3. Crash

I shouldn't be feeling this nervous.

I stood in the hall near my front door and toyed with the pins in my hair, fussing with them for no particular reason other than to distract myself from the too-fast thump of my pulse in my ears and the nerves shimmering through my gut.

I really shouldn't be feeling this nervous.

I hadn't felt this nervous about our first date.

This was Dan.

Just Dan.

Dan who I knew like the back of my hand. Dan whose moods I could read from the feel of his skin under my palms. Dan who loved me.

Dan who I hadn't seen for six weeks, his absence a constant ache I'd carried with me each day he'd been gone.

Dan who was now a werewolf.

New werewolves were fairly tightly policed and those with human families or loved ones doubly so. A representative of the Seattle pack had collected Dan from the hospital when the doctor had cleared him for release. They wouldn't let me see him. Wouldn't let me talk to him. He'd sent a few short emails.

Too few. Too short.

I'd nearly driven myself nuts trying to decipher if there was hidden meanings between the short lines that told me that he was all right, that he had survived his first change, that he loved me, that he was doing well.

And then there'd been the last email. The one that said he was coming home.

That had asked if I would have dinner with him.

I'd thought I'd been waiting for that moment.

But instead of racing to type 'yes' and hit send as fast as humanly possible, I'd found myself frozen at the keyboard. I hadn't seen him for weeks. Which had given me weeks to face the reality of what had happened to him.

Dan was a werewolf now.

I wasn't.

And even though, I loved him, even though the counselor the pack had arranged for me to talk to assured me that it could work, I couldn't ignore the fear that it was all going to go horribly wrong.

A vampire had killed my family. And werewolves weren't vampires, true. But they were supernaturals. Dangerous. Deadly. Infectious.

I pushed the thoughts away and forced my hands down from my hair as I heard a car pulling into my drive.

It was Dan.

Surely we could make it work?

He could have let himself in, after all he had keys but I knew he wouldn't. But waiting for him to knock felt weird so I opened the door and watched him walk toward me.

He looked good. No different, apart from the fact he had that haircut and his dark hair was tamed for once. Still tall. Still gorgeous. Still able to make butterflies tango through my stomach at the sight of him.

Part of me wanted to run to him. Throw my arms around him. Drag him into the house and never let him go again. Part of me wanted to slam the door and not let the monster in. I compromised. I stayed put, smiled. Fetched my purse and let him walk me to the car. Didn't flinch when his hand brushed my back. Didn't burst into tears from the weird mix of joy and nerves flooding through me.

Dinner was awkward at first. Dan picked a Thai place we'd been to before. It was a little out of the way, so not usually terribly crowded. I didn't know if he wanted privacy or if he was avoiding being around too many people yet but I didn't care. I'd always been a sucker for a good red curry. Besides which the owner was a tequila fan and he stocked my favorite brands. Tequila would kill my nerves if nothing else did. We made small talk and I tried not to notice my skin prickling. Eventually Dan must have noticed me rubbing my hand over my arm.