Fresh Start ~ Logan Paul

1. The arrival

I had been with Johnny on and off for 4 years and over that time - It had felt like the same exhausting process over and over again. Johnny would do something more terrible than the last time & we'd break up then get back together. Then restart the process all over again.

It was all so exhausting.

For some reason, I still stayed. Even through the cheating and the isolation, ignoring the times he withheld my money from me, when his fist would connect with my jaw during his rage. I still stayed.

Every time he would act in a rage, something in the back of my mind begged me to leave for real. Start fresh somewhere new and escape from the prison he had put me in but in reality I knew it wasn't safe to leave without a plan so I reached out to mike, my older brother, I begged him to fly me out to LA where he was living, pleading with him that I would pay him back as soon as I had some money.

As soon as Johnny and I had our argument this morning, i told him I was leaving for good and begun packing my bag so I could be gone before he got home and tried to convince me to change my mind about leaving. If I had threatened to leave and then stayed or he had caught me trying to leave - my life would have been in his hands and I knew he would have chosen to end it. He was out rightly violent and although he had food traits, the abuse was becoming more and more frequent.

By midafternoon and 5 1/2 hours, I had flown all the way to LA and now stood in my brothers arms for the first time in 2 years.

"Are you okay?" Mike asked as I cried into his chest.
I smiled up at him through my tears and knew sooner or later I would have to tell him what happened, why we had lost touch. Mike would kill him. I know he would. Mike was still the rage filled teenager when it came to anything to do with me as he was back in the day.

How do you tell you're loved one what you're going through without completely shattering their heart? Without making him think that him moving to LA was a bad decision since he was no longer around to protect me? How could I confide in him?

I felt my phone begin to vibrate and when i pulled it out I saw the Picture of myself and Johnny signalling that he was calling me. I turned my phone off and went straight to put it in a trash can. I didn't care if I had no phone at all, I needed no way for him to contact me.

"What the hell is going on?" Mike asked.
I couldn't answer - as the tears continued to spill from my eyes i could do nothing but choke on any words that dared to slip past my mouth.

"The minute we get to the house.. we need to talk" he demanded and in that moment It felt like I was back with Johnny. I collapsed to the floor, head in my hands and I drained of all my energy.

Mike crouched next to me, moving my hands away so he could see my face and judge my expression. "What the fuck did he do?"

Mike could see the guilty look on my face. There was no hiding it anymore. Mike lifted me up, and helped me walk out to the car where Logan was waiting for us.