Dear diary

12/10/19 - Part 2

Dear diary,

Woke up tired and a bit annoyed but I felt overwhelmed maybe because I know the death of my mum is on the 13th of October and we're celebrating Lotu Tamaiti (White Sunday) tomorrow it's probably that strong presence of reminiscing how sad it'll be due to tomorrow was the day my mum died. But we went to get all the attire same old, but going to the cemetery omg! we'll see how that goes... later on I went and it was rainy but by the time we got there it changed drastically it became sunny and then it just made it easier for me to put the flowers in to my grandma and mum. Before entering it I started to cry but by the time I went in I felt righteous and felt like I needed to avenge those that provided injustice to the ones that are deceased which was my mum.

One thing that made me truly think 🤔 was this if your a Samoan this is in particular for those that are and for those that aren't so people can have some cultural understanding of how Samoans in a nutshell think:-
Quote goes.. "When your Samoan you can't just leave the house. You gotta clean something in exchange for your absence". Which is true! When people try and justify your absence and if your Samoan traditionally this is the case as well as they have to miss out of uni to deal with cultural obligations with Loku (church) & Aiga (family) and when other people that don't understand start to assume, I can't be bothered explaining but in this case I will, elaborating that once your Samoan it's inevitable Church and Family is the top priority among everything whether it's liked or not it's just habitually a custom that's been going for centuries.

Also practise was good I had fun, we ate then just chilling and laughing like idiots with my mates at church x it's awesome! went to go shopping after that then next minute... Someone uninvited joins the car to purchase some items for tomorrow then while coming back, I and some other church family started blowing balloons while others were playing Volleyball however, we stayed late as to help kapega (Samoan word for clean/organise) the Fale Sā (Samoan word for church) then got home around 11:30pm it was stressful and tiring but felt great to just be of use and help whilst there's a family that needs extra help so it felt awesome. Today was actually and surprisingly an interesting day but pray that tomorrow will be better because I know tomorrow will be a day of performance, feeling gorgeous, taking pics in our white Samoan attire, having a good make up and highlighter on to pop lol, but also be sentimental because tomorrow is the day my mum passed and went to heaven making it 9 years officially. God be with me and my brother😭❤️.