[TW: mentions of suicide attempt and self harm]
[alex's POV]
After the attempt, Laf decided that I'm not allowed on the rooftop unless someone comes with me. They know I'm still depressed, and they "don't want to risk losing me", as they said. I still cut, same amount as before. I'm pretty sure John saw my scars but he hasn't mentioned anything yet. Speaking of John, he loves the ring I gave him, he won't even take it off. He is one of the very few things that bring me happiness.
[timeskip]
[john's POV]
It's new years eve in 3 days. Our dorm is already decorated with black and gold streamers .Alex has been on my mind all day. Well, he's always on my mind but now it's for a bad reason. He's been acting weirdly ever since the morning after "the attempt". He's always on edge and scared about something. I've been meaning to talk to him about his cuts, perhaps I'll do that now. I got up from the couch and walked to our room, to find Alex sitting on his bed, playing with Whizzer. I sat down on the end of his bed. He looked up at me and a sliver of fear struck in his eyes.
"Hey Lex. I wanna talk." I told him. He tensed up but put Whizzer down.
"I saw your scars. How long have you continued cutting for?" He fidgeted with his sleeves and looked away.
"Since the day after Halloween." Alex mumbled. No. No no no no. this is bad. He's already addicted to his habits. It's gonna be hell trying to get him back on a good path.
"I know, I know. I'm a terrible person because I said I'd stop and I didn't and now you hate me and are gonna break up with me." He rambled, tears slowly falling down his pale face. I pulled him into a tight embrace. He melted into it, burying his head into my hair, which fell down on my shoulders.
"I would never break up with you. Never. No matter what." I whispered. He choked on a sob.
"Shhhh, baby. It's ok. Let it all out." He cried even harder. I held him and let him spill everything he's been bottling up. Herc and Laf walked in from all of the noise and I motioned for them to come over to us. The joined in on our hug and Alex immediately pushed us away.
"Oh god I've done it again. Oh no no no I'm so sorry. I made you worried i'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you." He stuttered and spit out words.
[alex's POV]
I need razors. I need to cut so badly. I need to get out of this feeling. I hate this. oh god I hate this. I made them worried and now they think i'm even more of a freak.
"Guys I need to go cut. I'm sorry but I just need to do it to feel better." I tried to get up but Laf held me down.
"No. No you won't. You've developed an addiction to this and you need to stop." He pushed me back down. My muscles started to tense up. I need to now. John pulled me closer to him.
"Deep breaths. In, out, in, out." He rocked me back and fourth in his arms. I started to relax, but couldn't get the thought out of my mind.
"Boys... Am I a bother to you?" I mumbled. They all shook their heads.
"Of course not! We love having you around. Even when you're down." Herc defended.
"Oh." I whispered.
[words: 594]
aaaaaa uh oh I'm sorry but like i put in kinda fluff but sad fluff and aaaaaaaaaaa i'm sorry
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Bad Things Always Follow// lams
Fanfiction~TWs: self harm, depression, ptsd, panic attacks, bullying, descriptions of blood, homophobia Alex had a very bad childhood. abandonment, death, and a huge hurricane. on top of that, he was bullied for all of high school. when he moves to new York...
