These Ties That Bind

Chapter 20: I Still Don't Know

"You want to be burned, don't you?" Mason asks, curious about my love for fire. Disbelief laced with amusement crosses his features.

I toss a french fry from my lunch at him, "I never said that, I guess I just love that if you get too close it burns and yet I always find myself drawn to flames." I shrug my shoulders at him like it's nothing and lift a forkful of food towards my mouth.

For days all I could think about is his body against mine, this is the first time we have talked since we... well, decided we were more than friends. So, of course, when my bedroom eyes make an appearance Jamie is the first to notice.

"Ahem, anything you guys have to tell us?" Her eyes burn into mine, letting me know that here and now was the time. She should know better than to expect me to throw myself under the bus.

But were we anything? He did unspeakable things to me in the bedroom but that didn't make us exclusive. If anything, I had made a bad decision that would forever be a one night stand to him. Following this logic I begin to reply, "I don't-" I am cut off when Mason replies "We actually are-" before he spills the answer of all my questions, I interrupt him, "Not hiding anything from you guys, okay? If there was something to talk about we would talk about it, right Mason?" I look to him hoping he would catch my drift, but he seemed too angry to care.

His jaws clench and I can almost hear his teeth grinding. He stares into my eyes begging me to change my answer, but how can I? We never discussed anything, especially because I dont know what he wants from me! I don't back down from his stare even though all I really want is to climb across the table and tell him I'm his-only his.

"Right." His one word answer sets off a deafening silence in our sitting space that he seems to easily break with the clasp of his hands hitting the table. He stands, looks at me and nods his head to the door and starts walking away.

As nervous as I am to get up, I have to...

"What the hell was that?" Ivy's brows crinkle, she always says what everyone is thinking. I shrug an I don't know and get up from my seat.

Once in the hallway I look to my left, searching to see where he might be.

From behind me his voice, low and callous, whispers into my ear, "So last week meant nothing to you?" His fingers wrap into my hair as he pulls my head into his the crevice between his neck and shoulder, using my hair to guide me, he knows it feels good.

"It's-it's not that." My breathing ticks when his arm glides down the front of my body resting his hand on my lower belly. "We never talked about it," I gulp loudly when he plants a kiss on my neck "I wasn't sure it was more than sex for you..." before I can finish what I originally planned to say he pulls me into an abandoned science room and lifts me to sit on the teachers desk.

This moment felt like it could've lasted forever, but his anger with me wouldn't allow anything good for me to happen on this desk.

"You think thats all you are? After all of these weeks? Unfuckingbelievable Adrianna." He pushes a loose strand of hair over his forehead.

He stands between my legs not even bothering to whisper any of this, I'm sure anyone passing by could hear him. It was wrong, I know it is wrong to fantasize about his angry hands covering my throat pushing my head into the desk as he pounded into me. I shouldn't be thinking that way but I was and as a result my privates heated at the thought of his touch.

His veins, popping out of his neck in anger are what drive me to my next move, "I know your mad at me right now but," I grab his hand and wrap it around my neck,"I need you, baby, please."

I could tell it had an effect on him, my words drove him crazy and so did my actions yet all I knew was he wanted me as much as I wanted him. With his hand still wrapped around my neck he begins to squeeze tighter as he brings his face towards me I know its over,

"Ill kiss you... if you tell me we are together now and the group." He squeezes even tighter, hardly tight enough if you ask me.

In response I place my hand over his and squeeze telling him to hold tighter. I whisper in his ear, "Im yours- you know it, give me what I want, please!" Im practically begging him to kiss me, I knew he wouldn't let our first time be in a classroom.

His hands travel to the sliver of skin showing beneath my t-shirt, unconsciously he rubbs calloused fingers in circular motions as he leans in to kiss me.

The feeling of electricity never gets old as his lips fall into place, moving roughly against mine. I have no anger in the moment so I match his pace and if sparks could fly right now, they would be.

Just when my fingers find his zipper and im ready to risk it all, the bell rings and his lips part from mine.

He begins to walk away and I start to think maybe he is really mad at me until his hand juts out awaiting mine,
"You coming?" He must've realized the way that came out and he cringes.

"Only if you're there!" I make a joke while grabbing his hand.

My heart beats almost wildly and for the first time I am worried what people will think. This is a whole new Adrianna, dating the troubled kid and walking out of an empty classroom with him. It feels like I'm breaking every rule I created for myself and maybe that was the point.

We open the door to uncaring students walking to class with their friends. The breath I hadn't realized I was holding lets out when I realize no one actually cares.

Scratch that, five confused eyes that stare at Mason and I care.

We walk directly to them,I hope they arent angry that I didnt tell them. If they noticed our hands, they didnt say anything.

"Ready for class, cutie?" Spencer asks me, trying to avoid looking at our hands, she is the nosiest of all of us, but she could keep a secret like no one else.

I nod my head at her, nervous that if I speak , I wont stop until the entire truth is out. My brain racks itself for ways to appropriately say goodbye to Mason and I find none, so I smile at him and start to leave.

"What about me?" Mason asks as I turn to leave and when I face him he's already within kissing distance. He gently kisses my cheek and my heart stops, but I'm sure he only did that because my brother was watching.

As Spencer and I sit down she calmly says, "Are you gonna tell me exactly what the fuck just happened?" By the use of curse words one might think she was angry but when I look at her she is smiling ear to ear.

"Girls night?" Is all it takes for her to smile even wider and drop the subject.

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