deer boy | nct 22nd member au

- no matter what

requested by: messiah2017
hope you enjoy!

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it was so hard to hide it but somehow nate managed to. no one knew about it and nobody ever should. they would hate him for it. what is it that he's hiding you ask? well to put it simply...

he's gay.

it was something he's had to deal with ever since he came to korea. only his close friends and family knew and they accepted him because they all were really supportive. but telling all of his hyungs and noonas was a whole different story.

ever since he became a trainee it's been hard. and especially hard because he had a boyfriend that he loved with all his heart but it was difficult keeping the relationship alive. him being an idol and being busy all the time meant that they had a long distance relationship but somehow between dance practice or showcases they managed to call each other.

but secrets can't last forever.

because little did nathan know that the person he loved most was going to give him a sort of pain he had never felt before.

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they were all practicing for black on black when they all had a small break which meant nate could have the small talk that he awaits all day. what nate would usually do is to say he's going to the bathroom and lock himself there while they talked.

the hyungs thought it was weird since nate doesn't really have to go to the bathroom. but they let the boy have his privacy. so when nate ran off to the bathroom they considered it as normal.

"hey guys now that i think about it i actually have to go to the bathroom to" said the oldest in the group. "of course you do grandpa" said a certain thai boy. the only thing the other could do was laugh sarcastically and say 'haha very funny ten'.

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when nate finally heard the boy he loved pick up he was overwhelmingly happy. you might think it's cheesy but nathan loved it.

"hey baby how are you?" said his boyfriend over the phone. "i'm great babe how are you? i've missed you so much!" said nate trying to be as quiet as possible. "i'm great but there's something i need to tell you"

oh how much nate was wrong about what he thought those words meant. he was so positive and he thought of all the best scenarios in his head.

"oh yeah what is it?" he could hear his boyfriend sigh over the phone. he was getting a little worried. "babe are you okay? you know you can tell me anything right?"

and that's when he heard the words that broke his heart in a million pieces.

"i want to break up with you"

it broke him. he couldn't process the words that he just heard. he could feel his heart being torn apart. "w-what do you m-mean?" he could only choke back sobs at the moment. "i'm sorry nate but keeping this relationship between us is tiring. we never have time for each other. and you are an idol. i'm really sorry but i just can't do it anymore."

"b-but babe-" "i'm really sorry but i just can't. goodbye nathan zhang"

and that's when he broke down. the boy he loved most out of his life like a light. he could not believe it. all of the effort he put into the relationship just gone. he didn't know when but a pair of arms wrapped around him and hugged him tight. he didn't know who it was but he embraced the hug. when he finally looked up he saw his oldest hyung taeil.

"oh baby don't cry. look i'm sorry but as i was going to the bathroom i heard your conversation and i just want to say that he was an idiot to let you go because you are the loveliest person in the whole world"

"w-wait hyung you're not mad at me?" said the fragile boy. "oh honey why would i be mad?" said taeil while wiping his tears. "a-about me liking b-boys.."

at hearing that taeil made him look at him straight in the eyes. "nate we would never hate you for what you are or who you're attracted to. we love you just how you are and i promise you that none of us would ever hate you. and it's okay if you feel uncomfortable telling everyone just yet because it's fine. you can tell them when you feel like it but just remember that we'll always love you

no matter what"

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oh i really hope you enjoyed this one
gonna get a little personal here so if you're uncomfortable with feelings just don't read this.
tbh as i was writing this i wrote the way i feel.
some of my friends are really homophobic so i really hate it that i have to live in the closet because i know they'll never accept me for who i am. the worst thing is that my best friend moved to the other side of the world and she was the only one who knew. someday i just really wish i had someone to talk to.
umm however just ignore my little rant there
love you guys.
<3