BlackHill Oneshots

When Love Arrives

(Inspired by When Love Arrives by Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye. I definitely recommend you checking out their poetry!)

When Maria first falls in love, she is five years old. At least, this is what she thinks love feels like. She doesn't know Love's name, doesn't know what angry identifier to yell at him when he grabs a fistful of her hair and yanks. She just knows to kick dirt up onto his clothes as if on instinct even as the dirt ruins her brand new sneakers. Mama will be mad, she knows, but it's worth the angry look Love gets on his face as the dirt finds its way onto his new jeans.

She thinks this will make him leave her alone but Love persists. He pulls the plastic flower clips out of her hair and steals her coat when it rains. Love is a year older than her with pale skin that always smells like sunscreen and the blondest hair she's ever seen. He laughs when she's upset but a part of Maria likes the attention, even if she cries when he pushes her off the slide.

One day, as she's sitting under a large oak tree and admiring the ants that are busily collecting food the other children have dropped, Love stomps up to her with loud taunts and demanding words. Secretly, Maria is glad to see him. But she outwardly acts as if she hates him, firing back angry retorts like she had practiced in the mirror last night.

Love starts stomping on the ants when he notices her admiring them and she's immediately on her feet, yelling at him to stop. He sneers at her. "I'll stop if you give me a kiss," he taunts immaturely and Maria would do anything to save the ants.

"Fine!" She balls up her fists real tight as Love makes a kissy face. He present her his cheek but she presses her lips to his cracked ones like she'd seen Mama do to her new boyfriend. He jumps away as his friends laugh. His face is red and he runs away, rubbing his lips angrily on the back of his hand. Maria sees Love on the playground sometimes but he never looks her in the eyes. It's scary how much she misses Love's attention.

The next time Maria falls in love, she's in fourth grade now. Love's name is Ethan and he's taller than last time. This time, he's got dark brown hair that's so curly it looks like a wig. Maria pulls on it one time to see if it'll come off. It doesn't. But Love gets really mad and storms off, face red from anger. Or maybe embarrassment, Maria can't tell.

He's one of the only black boys in her grade and the other boys tease him for his dark skin. Maria thinks he's beautiful. She tells him so, maybe a little to loudly, and Love walks off again to the laughter of the kids that heard her. They ride the same bus even though they're in different neighborhoods and, sometimes if the bus is really full, Maria sits down right next to him. Love always gets the window seat. He tells funny jokes, she finds out.

Sometimes at recess, Maria will steal the beanie he wears right off his head and run around giggling as he tries to get it back. But maybe she takes it a little too far because Love tells the teacher and Maria pouts through the rest of recess. That night, Maria finds out the school had called her mom. She doesn't walk without limping for a week. Bus rides are a lot more quiet after that. Slowly, Love fades.

The next time Love arrive, Maria is in 8th grade. All of her friends have boyfriends that they barely talk to but hold hands with anyways. This time, Love is a girl. The teacher calls her Abagail but she politely asks to be called Abby. Maria immediately has a crush on her.

This time, Maria is scared of Love. And she's scared of the way Love makes her feel. She knows it's wrong, Mama always says so about the gay couple that lives down the street. Maria buries her feelings as best she can, even when the teacher moves Love to the desk right next to her's. They share scissors sometimes and pass brightly colored sticky notes back and forth while the teacher drones on.

When Maria tries out for the basketball team, she makes it. Love does too. They practice together during lunch with some of the other girls. They're always on the same team and Love high fives her every time she makes a basket. But Love also goes to church every Sunday and says mean things about the librarian with short hair and a wife who sometimes brings her lunch. At the end of the year, Love moves to California.

Sophomore year, Love reappears as a girl named Charlie. She's got a tongue piercing that would drive Mama crazy and that always clinks against Maria's teeth when they kiss for a long time. She smells like cigarettes everyday after lunch but Maria does too so she doesn't mind.

Maria loses her virginity to this love. It's at a party in somebody's little sister's bedroom and Maria finds the dolls on the bed creepy but she lets Love bunch up her skirt anyway. She ends up faking it and then returning the favor. Maria only remembers bits and pieces now. The hangover afterwards makes Maria quit drinking.

They date for a year. But only in secret because they're both scared. And then Love calls her a "worthless, dirty bitch" even though Maria wasn't the one who cheated. Love leaves and for a moment, Maria is reminded of her mother who's passed out drunk on the couch at home. Maria doesn't cry.

Love doesn't reappear until Senior year of college. Maria has been working hard, earning a 4.0 gpa and paying for college all by herself. She had moved to the opposite end of the country after graduating high school and changed her phone number so nobody from back home knew what it was. She started over and threw herself into her studies. Until she met Love in American Lit.

Love's name is Lucy and she's got pure black hair that isn't dyed. Maria loves to run her fingers through it as they lay naked in bed at night. Love tries to cook her dinner but always burns the meals so they eat a lot of takeout and processed foods. They live together out of necessity at first but then it becomes because they want to.

Senior year is the most fun Maria's ever had and it's worth the slight drop of grades. They both graduate together though, walking proudly across the stage to receive their diplomas. But then Maria leaves for the military as soon as it's over. Love never writes her.

Maria meets a new Love in the military. She's scrawny and twitchy and Maria honestly doesn't understand how she was even allowed to enlist. They share the same bunk and Love cries every night for a week straight before Maria takes her under her wing. They train together even though Maria out-performs her every time. Love never seems to mind. They only kiss one time before they get sent out into the middle of a fight and Love doesn't come back.

Maria refuses to find love after that. She swears off dating for almost seven years. By the time she's fallen in love again, Maria has spent a year quickly rising through the ranks at S.H.E.I.L.D. and is now Nick Fury's right hand. Love is defensive and angry. People steer clear of Love because of her reputation, leaving her to be a loner. Love has bright red hair that never fades and a best friend that loves to push Maria's buttons.

Slowly, Love's shackles start to lower. Maria asks her on a date and Love doesn't say no. And then she doesn't say no the second time or the time after that either. Love speaks more languages than Maria can count on both hands and she has a past that is filled with only darkness. Sometimes, Maria is startled awake by Love having a nightmare and they stay up until sunrise holding onto each other tightly.

Love gets injured on more than one occasion and Maria gets worried sick every time even though Love likes to hide her pain. But Love is also extremely ticklish even if she doesn't show it and squirms under Maria's light touches. Love dances in the rain and catches snow on her tongue. Maria loves her.

Love's name is Natasha.