In the end

Chapter 1

It was just another day. Same people. Same faces. Same places. Another day being sick of this, of all. I hate this place, but they just don't understand.I need to get out of here. I reached the point where not even my dearest friends could make me change my mind.

"Is it asking for too much, Carolina?This place looks like hell!" For the fifth time today my mom enters in my room and starts yelling. I'm so bad that not even that can piss me off.

"Maybe that's a good thing." And that was truly true, right now hell for me would be heaven.

"Stop whining and clean this mess or.. or there's no dinner for you!" Don't care I'm not hungry anyway and she's going to change her mind. "I mean, clean this mess and come downstairs to eat something."

I knew it. I don't understand why so much worry, it's not like I'm going to die if I don't eat like I used to. And you know why because I just want to get out. I want new things. New sensations. I want to be happy and that's what I'm not right now. Not even "that" can help, it doesn't hurt anymore. I do it now just because it seems liberator. Nobody knows. I just don't want to worry them.

Tired of being in my bed and waiting for my mom to yell againI just decide to start catching some clothes that are spread on the floor. Some of them are there for weeks now and I found myself looking at one t-shirt in particular. So many good and bad memories.. I need to burn that and just forget. I decided than to just throw all the lothes to the ground again and sit on the bed.

Why was I so stupid? I always knew that I wasn't good enough for you but, why with me?Am I so bad like he said I was. It's past but it still haunts me.

"Carolina, get down, now!" Great a trip to the past and now my dad screaming like a crazy, it must have been a good day for him.

I sit at the table and my mom puts in front of me a dish with all the colours you can imagine, some things I don't even know what they are so I just give her a disdain look.

"You know what they say, the more colorful, the healthier" And this is my mom, really pretty but with really ugly jokes.

"So how was your day,dad?"

"Normal." Why always so cold, gosh. Even when I try to be nice.

"Sorry I didn't bring my coat"

"What, Carolina?? Please it's not cold. Why do I never understand you?"

"lt's cold but you are, get it?" I have to admit my jokes aren't the best too though.

"Carolina, stop. You're dad had a really busy day." oh mom please he has a mouth, doesn't he? I hate when she protects him like that.

"Really, dad? Can't handle those stupid students by yourself?"

"Always so nice, Carolina." I know.

"Thank you."

The rest of dinner is quite and I wish I had a dog to give him this food. Loss of appetite is now a daily think and I just can't help it.

"Carolina, please honey, eat just a little bit more."

"I'm not hungry, mom." And with that I leave the table giving my mom a kiss and a cold goodnight to my father. When I get to the stairs I hear the sound of a broken dish.

"Crap, why can't she be like the other girls, Sarah. Such and arrogant and insolent kid!"

I hold myself for three seconds and when he makes his way to the kitchen he passes for me and stops.Our eyes meet and I can tell that he is waiting for tears but I won't give him that taste. I turn around slowly and I hear a deep breath coming from him, a regretful one. I couldn't care less! How can a father talk about his own daughter like this, it hurts, it hurts so bad. He's always saying that he's tired of my personality but I'm sorry I can't change it, okay? I'm not the perfect daughter, I know that. But he can't judge me, he knows nothing! My own dad! I bet he doesn't even remember my birthday just like last year. I'm done, a little bit more each day. And there's just one thing to do right now. The only thing I can and want to do, release myself with some lustrous things and red tears.

( Really sad I know ;) it will get better promise. Hope you enjoyed! Ily if you're reading this story and if you're not too ! )