Forgiven Crown

1

    "She was truly the most beautiful person that you could ever run into. The Queen, the Queen of all the land." I looked at my mother and sruntched up my nose. I hated it when mother would read me princess stories, it just didnt feel right to me. She saw the look and smiled a little. "Oh alright Alix. Fine." She closes the book and places it on my shelf, she sighs and rests her hands on her hips and looks at me. She was so pretty raven black hair with loose natural curls with an olive tone to her skin, like the sun kissed her just right. Her eyes were something else though, one was a light Hazel blue and the other was a Light blue green, her lips were full and a beautiful red and her jawline was shaped perfectly. Her hour glass body shifted to one side as she taps her fingers on her hip. "Alix you know, you know one day you ate gonna have to take those contacts out." I looked down remembering.
"I know mommy."
       The vision went blurry as my therapist shakes my leg. I shake my head and realize that I'm back into this hellish world, the place that took her away from me.
  "Alix are you sleeping well at all. You know since...." She didn't have finish it I knew what she was talking about. I look at her through my shades she knew I wasn't okay, but she also knew I wasn't gonna talk about it. Not now at least.
   "Yea Claret. I've been sleeping fine." She knew I was serious and slightly taps her pen on the notebook. She looks at my arms she knew I knew she knew. The tapping stops and she looks at me.
   "Alix I-" I hold my hand up and sigh.
   "I know, you're my therapist, its your job to help me to get over my compulsive deppression, and anger, and everything else that's wrong with me. But I am 20 years old that is in college I'm fine. I'm still alive." That seems to upset her.
   "You keep doing that and you won't be." Why did she say it like that. Did she mean it on purpose? Or was She just trying to spare my feelings and not fully say it? Whichever the hell she chose how to say it, it doesn't matter she still said it and it still stung a little.
    "Well gee Doc make me feel worse." She screwed up her brow. "Its bad enough I get stared at because of my eyes and get called a lesbian at school. I don't need this bullshit either and you know it." Now I can see the pain in her face. She's been my therapist since I was seventeen right after my mother died. She scooped me up a couple of times but in order for me to keep talking to her as my shrink she had to let me go.
   "Alix you know I care." I looked at her fighting the tears.
   "I'm trying." A small pittiful smile creeped at the corner of her lips.
   "I know." She looks at her watch. Which means it's time to go.
  "I guess it's that time huh?" She stares a little bit longer as if trying to avoid looking at me. She knew I took them off I do it every time its something we are working on with her and her anxiety. "Claret" she looks at me. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10.. She looks away I put the shades back on and lean back relaxing a bit. "You made it to ten today." She slightly smiles.
  "Alix?" I arch a brow.
  "Yes?" She looks down quickly.
  "I wanna Thank You for helping me." I smile a bit.
  "Hey, You help me...I help you." She smiles again we both stand up connecting with each other.      "So-sorry." I look at her. "I..I didn't." I tilt my head and raised both eyebrows. Claret and I are both fragile porclyn Chinese dolls. And we both reach out for each other but, we both feel something and that's not okay and we know that. I'm a patient and she's a doctor.
   "Claret. Are you free after work tonight?" She looks up at me.
   "Yes. Why?" I smile.
"I'm gonna pick you up after work and we are gonna go get a few drinks. We both deserve one at least." She looks at me with wide crystal blue eyes.
  "Alix...I...I"
"Sh nobody has to know." She knew it I knew but this is fire that we are playing with, and one of us is bound to get burned. "Be ready by 8 ill swing by at eight thirty. Okay?" She bit her bottom lip and looks at me.
  "Okay." I plaster a big smile on my face. "Just um. Go to the.."
  "I know." She smiles and before she does it, I tuck a curl behind her ear and open the door before I leave I look over my shoulder.
   "8:30." She nods and walks out with me.
   The office ladies look at me and smile.
  "Appointment for next week?"
"Yes ma'am." Clickity Clickity Clickity Clickity CLAT! Her nails were pissing me off.
"Next available appointment next week is Thursday at 2:30pm. Is that good for you?"
  "Yes ma'am." Clickity Clikity bleep. Meeerrrrr meep meep neeewiis vvooosh.  I never usrstood their computers and printers. Like what the Fuck? They sound like they are crying for help. She hands me the paper and smiles. "Thanks."
  "Have a nice Daaayyy!" You know they are to damn happy to be working at a nut house office. It kinda sickens me just a little. I hit the button on my keys and the car bleeps telling me its unlocked I open the door and get in. I put my head back, I sigh letting out a small breath and close my eyes so that I can see her again.

  Hey baby girl.