Only Man You Crave

Chapter 8

Kongpob

Somewhere in an apartment

I can't believe what I just did…. I looked over at  P'Arthit. He used to be my enemy, senior, a great leader then a crush. I liked him and still do… but what I noticed was that I wasn't in love with a senior anymore. I'm in love with Arthit Rojnapat . I looked at him as he hugged me tightly. I was so embarrassed I felt the blush return to my face… he rolled over and I took this as my chance to get dressed and make coffee.

I sat up quietly noticing an incredible ache in my hips. He must have been really happy. I wonder if he heard me… The night before in the forest I told him I loved him. I was then swept off my feet and pulled here… and you know… then that… happened. I stumbled looking for my pants buckling the belt ever so quietly. I stared at his sleeping face.

He really is a beautiful person. I walked out of the room wondering if he heard my confession and acted on it or... I wish he had and hadn't at the same time.

It felt great to be in his arms then again it felt lonely being without him. I had realized it was love long before this… but I couldn't possibly admit that. It's far too embarrassing.

 Maybe I should just confess again.. Wait a minute… I thought mentally face-palming. I couldn't possibly do that!

I couldn't cook… so I simply placed two instant cups of coffee on the coffee maker . The steam from the machine blew into my face warming me instantly. The scent of coffee swelled around the apartment. I added cream and sugar to mine leaving his black the way he prefers it. I walked with the two warm cups over to the bedroom. I poked my head in the door realizing he was still sleeping. I was about to let him sleep when I realized the time. The wall clock read an incredible 10:39am.

Oh no he was going to get up. I walked over silently and poked his bare back with my foot lightly. I noticed all the scratch marks and blushed a deep red. P'Arthit stirred slightly. I placed the cups down on the nightstand and walked over to him. I bent down ready to poke him when I was pulled into a warm embrace.

"good morning my love…." He yawned. I stiffened and blushed deeper if that was even possible.

"It isn't close to morning…" I complained.

"You're lucky it's one of our rare days off."

"I made coffee" I complained struggling to free myself. "I can cook eggs if you're hungry." I offered. He opened one of his beautiful maroon eye gleaming with mischief. He smiled hugging me tighter.

"Phi… If you squeeze me any tighter my bones are going to pop." I complained struggling with twice the effort.

"Like you didn't like my strength last night." He smiled and I covered my eyes. "Don't talk like that!" I cringed causing him to frown.

"Fine but I don't like the normal stuff without pervert thoughts though ." He complained.

"Do you have to be like a picky 6 year old?"

"Only with Cub." His smile enlarged and my blushed appeared with full force. "Whatever but the coffees getting cold." He released me sitting up to where the blanket barely covered him. His shaped midsection was for the world to see as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. I handed him a cup. I took a sip immediately chocking.

"Ewk… It's black." I complained pushing the cup away.

"Ha-ha I'd say that's mine?" He asked taking the cup.

"Here I'll get you a new one."

"No I want that one" he commented grabbing the cup. "But I drank out of it." I sighed weakly handing him the cup. "I put my mouth on your …" I cut him off!

"OKAY I GET IT!" I stormed out of the room leaving a very shameless black haired man to get dressed. He came in the room wearing a green top that matched his pale skin beautifully. His black jeans hung around his waist unbuttoned. He looked so…Sexy…. "Oi…" He broke the silence and I realized oh crap I was staring at him… Just as my blush started to disappear it came back full force.

"You know something's been bothering me lately."

"oh?" I said curiosity reaching an all-time high.

"Do you remember what you said in the the beginning of our conversation and all of a sudden lust drowned you out… well I have a feeling it was important." I instantly froze.

"Ha-ha I told you it wasn't important." I laughed nervously. "Great then more a reason you shouldn't mind telling me." He walked over and I stepped backwards.

"Umm… I think I should be getting home." I started but was instantly trapped against a wall. "I won't let you get away Simba… Now please tell me you're driving me crazy." He said in a seductive tone. "Uh… P... P'Arthit it's really nothing to worry you." I assured but failed as he leaned into me. "I still want to know." He whispered as his hot breath reached my ear. I blushed and remained silent.

"Please tell me…" he pressed further. "Ar...Arthit" I breathed weakly. I regained my senses…

"P'Arthit stop! YOU keep messing with my head leave me alone!" I screamed. He stepped back hurt and shock running through his eyes… He backed away covering his face as his eyes are filled with tears that  threatened to burst through. I felt upset and overwhelming guilt.

"Phi.. P'ARTHIT khap … I'm-"

"Please just go" he said turning around resting his hands on the counter.

I bowed my head.

"I'm sorry Phi Khaab " I said before exiting the room. I walked into my apartment feeling more than guilt.

I felt lost and lonely. The only person who every made me feel like myself was him  but what would I do when I was the reason for his suffering.

I knew long ago that I'll be the trouble to who ever approach me and makes me a priority in their life..

Just like …

I also knew that I love him more than I thought. I crawled back into my own bed in my dorm at my university . The house remained clean due to the cleaning that May did generously. I lay there hugging myself.

 I really messed up… what I wanted to say was that I love you… stay with me forever… don't leave me… Stay with me…Forever…. I love you Arthit Rojnapat … not just as a senior or relative … I love you My Sun.