baby stroller•Verkwan

i am sorry.

-BOO-

What the fuck happened to me..

I hate myself.

For this.

I was always crying on the corner on my room, looking like a crybaby.

I'm an adult now, why do I have to act like this anyway,

Fucking come on, Boo Seungkwan!

I screamed in anger as I answered Vernon. "NO! A MILLION TIMES NO! HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE SUPPOSED TO TOLD YOU TO FUCKING.LEAVE.ME.ALONE!?!?"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, IM NOT FUCKING DOING SOMETHING SHIT OR ANYTHING, IM NOT SAD OR MAD, HANSOL." I shouted again. I lied.

In anger, I tried to calm myself down, but still..Rage is still inside... nothing works at this time.

For a few minutes, I was just a bit irritated by now, but I'm a bit okay. then I felt something...

Something that makes me know on what I am now.

"Hansol, I'm just sorry."

"Seungkwan, what happened to you? Your becoming a 'horrible' person!"

"I'm sorry! I can't help it Hansol, please, forgive my aggressiveness!"

"No is no, Seungkwan! I can't stand of your anger over the past weeks! All I feel is that you hate me!"

"I'm just sorry.."

"This is enough now, this is our goodbye anyway. We are gonna break up."

"Hansol! No! Please!"

"NO IS NO, BOO SEUNGKWAN!"

...

In result, I became a different person.

I became the Seungkwan that never smile, never show affection, I just shout, show a cold expression, i felt isolated, I probably make Vernon mad and sad because of my different side.

I started to sob and cry quietly under my legs, face full of regret and sadness.

Help me.

Help me please..

could I control myself?

I can't be like this forever, I can't be mad and cry all the time to make Vernon sad, and it could lead us to break up and be separate.

I am desperate for this drama to make it an Happy ending, the drama created by me.

This is my choice.

I truly believe that I have hope, courage, and faith to myself.

I hope that I can control myself and I could be transformed back as Seungkwan that is bubbly, vibrant, positive, smiley, caring, kind, nice, affectionate and lovable to Hansol and I won't be hideous.

....

"Babe?" I hear Vernon calling me on the door.