Six Feet Under : Reddie

Part 5

Beverly looked to Eddie, her blue eyes wide.

"Fuck, Eddie." She swore, tossing her cigarette into the water. "What are you gonna do about it?"

"Nothing." He said, stuffing his hands deep in his pockets.

"Nothing?" Bev asked, looking to Eddie as though he had grown a second head.

"What can I do?" He said back, looking to her, his face ridden with defeat.

"Oh I don't know, tell him?" She said obviously.

"Are you crazy? Tell Richie Tozier I'm in love with him? After what I said? In a town like Derry, with a mother like mine?" Eddie asked with a scoff, shaking his head and pulling blades of grass from the ground.

Beverly shook her head with a disappointed sigh, "How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long have you known?" She asked.

"Uh-uh I think I always have... Since we were kids really. I love him, but not until just now did I really know it. Because I had to. I've always tried to push it away, make excuses for it. This was the first time I've confronted it, and confessed it." He said, resting his head down his hand.

"You know, it was hard for him too. To come out. Even to me, I never even knew. And I... I usually know everything. We're supposed to know everything about each other, and I didn't know about this. That really tells me how scared he was, of our reactions. Richie might seem like be doesn't care, but, he values what we think more than you know. He longs for acceptance. Because we're the only ones that give it to him." She said, her copper hair glowing in the late morning sun.

"What about his parents?" He asked softly, his eyes shifting from Beverly to the ground.

"His parents?" She scoffed, "We all have bad parents, Eddie. Richie is no exception."

And that was true. Beverly's dad used to hit her, then under the control of It he was close to assault before he was killed.

Ben's father is gone, and his mother is over controlling.

Mike's father died of cancer, and his mother is alright, amazing before Will's death broke her.

Bill's parents hardly know of his existence since George died. Cold, and distant.

Eddie's mother always hovering, being overprotective. The only time Eddie ever stood up to her was after Henry broke his arm, when they were in the hospital and Sonia sent the Losers' away.

Stan's mother is about as much as a mother as Bill's. And his father is close to hating his presence.

And Richie's? Well, they aren't all that different. Bad people, with a good kid who didn't deserve what he got.

Eddie nodded, closing his eyes while letting out an anxious breath. "What am I going to do?"

"I can't make that decision for you, Eddie. But I will tell you this, if you stand by and let him go, he'll find someone who loves him, and needs him as you do. And you'll watch as they fall love, and you'll regret it for the rest of your life. I promise you that. I've watched it happen. But I was the lucky one." She said sternly, getting to her feet and hiking back home.

Yes, she was the lucky one. Ben eventually got into a relationship with Jenna Rink. The two dated for three months while Beverly watched, and realized where her heart lay too late. But she was lucky, because when she confessed to Ben, he confessed to never being with Jenna, he was only "with" her to get Beverly and for her to get Matt Flamhaff.

It worked.

And they were happy. All four of them. But, not all couples were that lucky of course. Because not all stories have happy endings if you wait until too late to make them yourself.

∆°∆°∆

Richie stared blankly up the ceiling, a grueling numbness taking over his mind.

What the fuck? Richie you're a faggot?

It didn't stop, playing itself repetitively as Victor bare arm draped over Richie's chest. Asleep.

Although sleep, was a rare delicacy Richie could almost never find. The darkness becoming his closest companion. Always there, in some shape or form, literally or metaphorically.

It used to hurt, hurt more than physical strikes, but now, like the strikes, he could hardly feel it. It was routine, almost like the Dead Lights every 27 years before It's death.

Cigarettes and sex, they seemed to be the best and only option for him.

And Victor was always a willing participant.

That's what they did. They used each other when they needed it.

"Rich?" Victor grumbled groggily, picking his head up from the crook of Richie's neck.

"Yeah?" He asked, only half of his mind set in the conversation at hand.

"You're one of a kind." He said, Victor's unruly hair resting against Richie's jaw.

Richie's lips twitched as he slung his arm around Victor's torso.

"Get some sleep, Vic." He said softly, his voice holding little to no emotion.

The next morning Eddie woke suddenly, dragging himself from the protective warmth of his comfortable bed.

He groaned, stretching his arms above his head as he lazily changed into acceptable clothes to wear outside.

It was Sunday morning and the Losers' Club was supposed to meet at the Quarry for a swim. It was probably the last of the hot days before the chilly autum winds.

Eddie grabbed a piece of toast and walked down the road, watching the young children playing outside in the glistening sunlight.

He yawned largely, biting into his last bits of toast before dusting the crumbs off to the ground.

When he finally arrived, he heard the laughter of his friends, and he smiled. He promised himself he would talk to Richie soon, but apologise today. He needed to. Beverly was right. He couldn't let this go out of fear. He fought a giant clown spider thing for fucks sake! This should be simple.

So why wasn't it?

"Hey everyone!" As soon as the words escaped his lips his eyes rested on a sight that led his heart to sink to his shoes.

A boy with blond hair sat beside Richie, his arm wrapped around Richie's shoulder, laughing at something Bill said.

Richie smirked at Bill, shaking his head as he passed his tobacco stick to Victor.

Eddie swallowed hard as their attention turned to him.

Bill, Stan, and Mike waved him over, though he knew they still wanted an explanation toward his actions of the previous day.

But Richie wouldn't even look his way,  keeping his eyes downcast.

Richie knew he shouldn't have brought Victor, for it would probably fuel Eddie's homophobia toward him. But at this point, he didn't give a fuck. He just needed someone to at least partly get his mind off Eddie, plus, Victor wanted to spend the day with Richie. For whatever reason, for Richie didn't believe he was that interesting for Victor outside of the arcade or the bedroom.

Eddie's eyes stayed glued to Richie and Victor, watching their every move.

He fucked up. And he fucked up bad.

Was he already too late to fix what he broke?