Six Feet Under : Reddie

Part 4

It had been two weeks since Stanley Uris, and Bill Denbrough came out, not to the world, of course, but to the Losers'.

And it got Richie thinking. Thinking that he could, perhaps, come out as himself. Stop hiding in the shadows, lurching behind a facade.

But of course, there was always a factor that went against speaking the truth. Or a couple, in Richie's case.

But the one that spoke the loudest was Eddie himself. He was worried how he would feel about it, how he would react.

But Eddie was fine with Bill and Stan. And really, Richie wasn't any different. Besides, it wasn't like Richie was confessing some kind of undying love bullshit to him.

It was early Saturday morning and Richie was sitting at his dining room table, sipping a cup of steaming black coffee. Odds are his parents wouldn't be up for a few hours, and Richie would have time to slip out unnoticed.

And that is exactly what happened. Richie mad his way down to the Barrens, planning to meet his friends, and tell them the truth.

"Mornin'!" He said, plopping down beside Beverly and Bill, lighting a cigarette between his lips. "Want any?" He offered.

"Sh-sh-sure." Bill shrugged, he didn't smoke often, just once and awhile for shits and giggles. It wasn't a stress thing, or anything just random really.

"How you guys can smoke those fuckers is absolutely beyond me." Mike said, shaking his head in what looked like disapproval. Really, Mike didn't have anything against cigarettes, or cigars. But he didn't like fire, not after what his father, Will Hanlon, told him about the Legends of Decency, back before he passed of cancers evil hand.

Beverly shrugged, yawning as she stretched her arms above her head, leaning into Ben ever so slightly.

After a few minutes passed of the Losers' joking and laughing, Bill spoke.

"Heh-hey Rich, you've beh-beh-been quiet."

"Don't question a gift of God." Stanley muttered.

"Shut up, Stan, at least I didn't kill Christ." Richie snapped, though a wide, teasing smile rested on his features.

"Guys." Beverly interrupted, rolling her eyes at the usual shit.

"Is there anything wrong, Rich?" Ben chirped, sitting up slightly to look at the group.

Richie shrugged, taking a drag of tobacco and nicotine before dropping the end into his now empty box.

"Nothing's wrong really," Richie started, all joking and laughter set aside, bringing him undivided attention from the others. "Look, it's no big thing, but since you guys all seem cool with it, then... I'm gay."

The Losers' grinned, thanking him for telling the truth, and offering congratulations, smiles taking up their faces and his.

"What the fuck? Richie you're a damn faggot?"

Richie's eyes snapped up to meet the person's who spoke, only to see his biggest fear had indeed, come to life. And it wasn't even in the hands of It.

Eddie Kaspbrak stood, gapping in shock, staring down at Richie in what looked like disgust.

Richie's once relieved and joyous eyes turned into vulnerability, self consciousness, filled with a deep pain Eddie had never seen before. It was like his soul just broke. Shattered, would be the superior word. The arrogant, joking, teasing, easy going Richie Tozier looked to have never existed. Only a small man, filled with hurt from the world around him.

A different person.

The others looked to Eddie to horror, the words falling dead in their mouths, surprise taking them in a throat hold.

Richie eventually tore his gaze, unshed tears in his eyes as he stood roughly, "You got a smoke, Bev?" He asked, ignoring the way his voice cracked.

Beverly looked up at Richie, her eyes shining with sympathy, begging to let her help him. But, he simply shook his head, taking the cigarette with a swift light and pushing past Eddie violently.

Eddie stared after him, his mouth still agape.

"What the hell, Eddie?" Ben was the first to speak, shockingly.

"Wh-why wuh-would you do tha-at?" Bill asked, his eyebrows furrowed in a way an adult looks at a child who did something they should've.

Mike shook his head, standing and walking from the group, a small scoff escaping his lips.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Stan snarled, though Richie and him didn't usually get along, constantly throwing down kind of unnecessary comment at one another, they were still friends. And this, this was too far.

And the sad part was, Eddie was joking. He said it seriously. And he knew it.

Bill placed a hand on Stan's shoulder, guiding him up the hill.

Beverly have Ben a pointed look, eventually having him leaving as well.

Beverly stood, walking to Eddie. "Why did you do that?" Her voice was filled with curiosity, but there was no mistaking the fury in her tone.

"I..." Eddie mumbled, without picking his head up.

"You what?" She snapped.

"I don't know!" He yelled, tears falling from his cheeks as his ears burned.

Beverly softened, motioning for Eddie to sit beside her.

"You really don't know?" She asked lightly.

"I-I was just surprised I think..." He said. Surprised because it made it real.

Yeah. Now things seemed real. With Richie gay. Real because it meant being with him wasn't as unrealistic as Eddie had once thought. It seemed terrifying, because despite what his mother said, and what he's supposed to believe, Eddie knows what he feels. He just tries to hide the truth under homophobic thoughts, and his mother's voice. But Richie's new reveal was like a slap in the face, a slap from the hand of reality.

"But you didn't react that way with Bill or Stan." She pointed out, taking a slow inhale from her newly lit cigarette.

"No... I didn't." Eddie agreed, nodding slowly.

"Why?" She prodded, watching him from the corner of her eye.

"Don't you get it?" Eddie asked rhetorically, shaking his head as he sucked a burst of chemical flavored water into his lungs from his inhaler.

He squeezed the inhaler tight in his fist, staring down at his feet.

No more lies.

"It's different because I'm not in love with Bill or Stan."