Look at me

Fucking Coward

After few months Dad died Mom decided to stay away in the city a move across to other country. But me and Brian decided to stay.

Why?

We want justice.

Automatically the vice mayor become the mayor and the shocking one is he become close to Jackson's Father for a short time.

I feel betrayed, my family is being used and betrayed.

And this shit Jackson acting he fucking care to us. He always try to visit our condo unit since Brian decided we should live in a small place, no servants, no parents, just the two of us, living independently.

Because of that everyday I saw Brian lost his happy aura and turn into a cold man. I can't judge him he lost his family.

What about me? I want to remain neutral, I want Brian to get his strength through me. I won't be a burden to him.

"Cherry, what do you plan for this coming Christmas eve? We gonna celebrate it without mom and dad for the first time." Brian asked me while driving home.

Tomorrow is Christmas Break, I gonna spend my vacation staying together with Brian. I stared to him." I will cook your favorite Lasagña." I smiled to cheer him up.

He barely smiled.

Celebrating our Christmas eve without our family. I wonder how's mom doing. Nagmadali akong umuwi para makapagluto agad alam kong gutom na din si Brian.

Pero bago pa kami makapasok sa unit,"Brian, Cherry, we need to talk. Please let me help you." Jackson again visited us.

"Please, we don't need you Jackson. Leave." Brian mandated. Agad na pumasok si Brian sa loob ng unit at naiwan ako nakaharap ky Jackson.

"Jackson, you want to help us? Let me ask you. How did your dad get close to the vice mayor?" I asked seriously.

"I don't know." he answered innocently.

Honestly Jackson really made me pissed off because of his innocent stupid attitude. Like, not knowing anything about his father.

"Seriously, Jackson I pity you. You like a walking shit. Very useless shit." agad akong pumasok, napasandal nalang ako sa pinto.

"Cherry, I'm useless but I'm trying to be useful not for my dad but for friends." He whispered through the door.

Nagulat ako sa sumunod na pangyayari, nakita kong umiiyak sa kama si Brian. He just breakdown.

Agad akong lumapit sa kama at niyakap siya.

He just whispered "Everytime I saw Jackson, I can feel the pain how we lost our family. I hate that fucking coward. I regret trusting him."

I hugged him tightly. I'm sorry Brian but as your sister I failed also to protect our family.

For the second time I lost my family. I'm sorry Brian I'm so uselessness.

"Cherry, I'm sorry." he hugged so tight.

"Why sorry?" I asked. "Kasalanan ko to, I'm worst. Maybe God is penalising me because of all my sins. I'm stupid." hinawakan niya ako ng mahigpit habang nasasalit ng kung anu-ano. "Brian calm down, you didn't do anything wrong for our family."

He stared at me calmly.

Hindi siya makapagsalita, tinitigan niya lang ako.

"I love you." he said.

Huh?

"Not as my family. I'm secretly in love with you." he look at me sincerely.

Huh?

I don't know how to react. "I don't want you to be my family. I'm worst I know. Now hate me Cherry." tumalikod siya sakin, nagsisi at puno ng pagkabahala ang mukha ya.

"I'm sorry." he sobs and left me.

Pumasok siya sa banyo at doon umiyak.

Kinakabahan ako.

I can't understand how I feel. I'm bothered suddenly, is this the reason why Brian stayed single and never dated someone? Am I the reason?

For all those years?

Brian is not seeing as his sister?

Uminit ang mukha ko, remembering we take a bath together while we are still young.