Voldemort recalled the time when he dropped his nose into the Underground.
20 years ago...
Lord Voldemort, the latest evil dictator to arise in the Wizarding World, was walking along the now on fire street, enjoying the sounds of completely innocent yet impure half-bloods screaming in grief and agony.
"Gee, it sure is swell to be an evil dictator Nazi on such a nice day," he said. Suddenly, his nose fell off.
"What the frick frack?" he picked up his nose. "Huh. Weird. Oh well, I don't need my sense of smell right now. I'll just grow another one later." (Little did he know that growing his nose back would become an obsession of his twenty years later, along with killing Harry Potter.) He threw the now-useless nose into the mountain he happened to come across.
"Since I'm evil and basically inhuman, that nose probably won't decay, but who cares. Back to my evil... stuff. Yeah."
TWENTY YEARS LATER...
Sans was watching a My Little Pony music video at full volume and singing along with the lyrics.
"Sans... stop... please..." Harry pleaded, weakened by the horrible song and Sans' singing voice. He fell onto the ground and crawled to Sans in an attempt to pause the video.
"hey, stop talking, i can't hear the words."
"ssssSSsSAAAAAAANS, STOP NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE."
"it's already too late."
Harry desperately reached towards his wand and uttered a spell. Suddenly, the My Little Pony song turned into death metal. Harry sighed in relief.
"Well, it's better than listening to Sans' voice," he said, satisfied. However, Sans' nonexistent ears were bleeding.
"why? why did you turn off my beautiful song to blast death metal at full volume?"
Harry was too busy jamming to the death metal song to hear him. Sans turned the song off.
"Aww," Harry said disappointedly.
"you're a jerk," Sans said angrily.
"You're a terrible singer," Harry retorted.
"no i'm not, you're just saying that."
"I'm very serious. Please never sing again for the rest of your life for the sake of everyone else on this planet."
"that's so mean, not even papyrus was that mean to me :("
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings?"
"yes..."
"Oh okay I'm sor- wait, no, that's too bad!" Harry did an evil laugh and backflipped out of Sans' house.
"um... alright..."
Okay Papyrus POV now
Papyrus was walking and stumbled upon an ugly rat dude.
"I AM JUST STUMBLING UPON THE STRANGEST THINGS TODAY." Papyrus bent down and stared at the ugly rat dude for a long moment.
"WHAT MONSTER ARE YOU, GOOD SIR?"
"Um... monster...?"
"YES. WHAT TYPE OF MONSTER ARE YOU? I AM A SKELETON. TORIEL, THE QUEEN OF THE UNDERGROUND, IS A GOAT LADY, AND MONSTER KID IS A DISGRACE!"
"Oh. I'm human."
"EW, WHY ARE YOU SO UGLY?"
"Rude... also, I've been a rat for like, fifteen years. I haven't had a bath in literally decades." Ugly Rat Dude informed Papyrus.
"OH GOD, GET AWAY FROM ME PLEASE." Papyrus hated filth almost as much as he hated Sans. Even though he didn't have skin and only recently got a nose, filth was always disgusting to him.
"Hey, is that a human nose in your pocket?" Ugly Rat Dude asked, intrigued.
"WHY, YES. I JUST FOUND IT ON THE FLOOR."
"I have to kidnap you now. Sorry not sorry. You see, I serve an evil dark lord dictator wizard guy and he-"
"WAIT. THE TERM FOR A MALE WITCH IS STILL A WITCH, NOT 'WIZARD'. THE TERM WASN'T MADE GENDER-SPECIFIC UNTIL STANDARD ENGLISH WAS IMPLEMENTED AND WORDS LIKE 'WARLOCK' and 'WIZARD' WERE ADDED TO THE DICTIONARY. WICCANS, A RELIGION THAT BELIEVES IN AND PRACTICES MAGIC, STILL USE THE WORD 'WITCH' AS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM AND CONSIDER 'WARLOCK' TO MEAN A TRAITOR OF WAR."
"I know, the Harry Potter universe is based off of lots of inaccuracies and assumptions about witches and their culture. Then again, it's basically all fictional, so no one bothers to fact-check because no one cares enough except for a random thirteen year old who was curious and looked it up once and put it into her Harry Potter fanfiction story for literally no reason."
"WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED?"
"Okay kidnap time get in the bag."
Ugly Rat Dude stuffed Papyrus into a sack and ran away.
YOU ARE READING
Voldyrus (Voldemort x Papyrus): It All Started With A Nose
Fanfiction"this is a very good fanfiction do not listen to them" -shoe "This story is ONLY written for comedic purposes. We purposely wrote it as a joke and tried to make it really stupid. Please DO NOT take this seriously. Like I said, this is meant to be a...
