Lucknow
She tried for the hundredth time to focus on her paper work for her thesis, but in vain. She kept going back to the time when she moved to Mumbai; her painful past silently making entry into her thoughts, however much she tried to block it.
She wasn't prepared to deal with the demons of her past, she realised; she just tried to store it in a box of pain and move on until now, until she opened up to Arjun.
What she revealed to Arjun was nothing compared to what she endured in Mumbai being Advay's wife.
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She was furious with Advay when she decided to move to Mumbai and hated him with every fibre of her being. But she didn't have any choice either, she had to tolerate being under the same roof as him until her sisters settled in life.
She was so glad that she met Pooja and Adi there; they made her feel comfortable and accepted unlike Advay's Maasi who didn't hide her disgust for her.
And when nani moved her to Advay's room, she was apprehensive to say the least; on one side she just wanted to confide in the old lady as to how big a torturous brute her grandson was and on the other she didn't want to worry her at this age and that she had to find the strength to fight her own battles.
She was in a dilemma all the while. Now that she thought about it, she realised that she must have shared her fears and worries with her so that at least there was one person less who detested her when she left Mumbai.
Living with advay was constant hell. She tried her best to stay out of his way and kept herself busy in the kitchen or the garden, but he kept engineering opportunities to encroach her personal space just to deliberately shame her and pass hurtful remarks.
Their Suhaag Raat rasm was a nightmare in itself. Just when she thought that she got over her PTSD, Advay was present every single moment to remind her of the same and relive it with more fright every time.
Her nightmares started again and she trembled with fear every time her husband closed the physical distance between them. But she did not want him to sense her nervousness fearing what he would do with such knowledge.
What was worse was not knowing the reason for his grudge against her. It made her clueless, frustrated and helpless all the time. It was like he had a sinister motive to his every seemingly innocent move. Just like how he enjoyed making her jittery all the time; like how he did it on the morning after their dreadful Suhaag Raat.
He leaned over her shoulder chatting with Adi like it was the most natural thing to do. Her discomfort was at its peak and she discerned that he did it purposely.
She just had to close her eyes shut to keep her emotions intact and yet when he placed his chin and took advantage of being in public, her anger, confusion and nervousness made its way to her eyes.
She wanted to just push him away and smack him in the worst possible way for making her feel panicky.
She composed herself once again and prayed to god to give her the strength to sail through that moment. The menacing way he delivered his threat scared her to death; and it did every single time.
She just wanted to spend time with the adorable 6 year old; being in the kid's company made her forget her pain; but looked like her husband didn't want her to have that either.
