It was an ordinary Sunday morning at the Pig household. Daddy Pig had taken Peppa to watch an execution in the town square. Mommy Pig was at the rifle range practicing her quick-scoping. George was at his grandparents' house, watching television. Suddenly, an ad interrupted the episode of Shrek: the series.
"Oink, what the fuck is this," George said.
A shiny, reddy pink slice came onto the screen. The voiceover said: "Stan's BACON. Buy now."
George licked his lips. 'Where can I get this delicious looking substance from?" he thought to himself.
"We only use the freshest pigs to make our bacon," the ad said.
"Ah," George said aloud. "That's where it comes from."
George looked left and right to see that no one was watching, before reaching into his trousers and pulling out a bottle of sleeping draught. He then when into the kitchen and poured 3 glasses of orange juice, one for himself and one for each of his grandparents. He then put sleeping draught into the one for his grandmother. He then took the orange juice to his grandparents who were on the front porch.
"Grandpa ig and granma ig, I brought some orange juice," he said, slurping loudly from his own glass.
"Thanks very much, ya filthy animal," Grandpa pig said. As grandma pig drank her from her glass, she quickly began to nod off. 'Now all I have to do is take her to the barbeque,' George thought.
George whipped out his iPhone 11 like a privileged child and opened up the call app.
"Johnny, call in an airstrike on Granpa Ig's garden," he said.
"What the fuck?!" Grandpa Pig exclaimed. "You little shit!"
Grandpa Pig charged down into the garden, drawing his machine pistol and firing at the incoming attack squadron. The bullets did no damage and napalm obliterated the vegetable garden, the chicken shack and Grandpa Pig himself.
"Ahh, overcooked bacon," George smiled at the smell of Grandpa Pig's burning body. George turned back to Grandma Pig's body, licking his lips in anticipation. Unfortunately, just as he was about to carry Grandma Pig to the barbeque, he heard police sirens slowly getting louder.
"Fuck," he said in dismay. He wasn't going to be able to eat his grandmother. Instead, he decided to tie Grandma Pig to a tree and set alight the grass around her. "Pretty soon she'll be roast pork," he thought to himself. He then ran down the hill to his amended Vickers MBT and drove away just as the Swat team got over the hill. Turning around the turret from a safe distance, George fired three shots, obliterating a police car and massacring the two officers inside.
George sighed with satisfaction. His reign of terror had begun.
