After watching a scrumptious public execution, Peppa hopped in the driver's seat of Daddy Pig's burnt out ute.
"Can I drive, Daddy?" Peppa asked.
"Of course, Peppa," Daddy Pig replied, not even drunk (as he usually was). Daddy Pig lit a marijuana cigar and popped it in his mouth. Peppa Pig drove home quickly (but not too quickly, only going 50 kph over the speed limit) and tried hard to be safe, only killing 10 civilians and injuring 52.
After driving the ute up the physically impossible hill that had their house on it, Peppa opened the boot of the car and brought out her six-pack of vodka bottles. She was about to start chugging when she noticed something was wrong. Smelling smoke, Peppa ran around to the back of the house where Grandma Pig had just been saved and was being treated by a medical officer. Grandpa Pig's burnt and mangled body was lying under a police tarp.
"What the actual fuck?!" Peppa exclaimed. "What happened?"
"M'names Police Chief Grampy Rabbit," said a voice behind her. Peppa turned around to see a hot, young rabbit. At that moment Daddy Pig appeared, dropping Grampy a wink.
"Sorry fatso, I'm not gay," Grampy said to Daddy pig, whose face fell. "Anyway, it appears that your garden has been naped by your son. We saw the smoke but we weren't able get here in time. We managed to save your Grandmother though."
Peppa looked out onto the garden and saw the wreckage of her cubby house. Suddenly, she was mad. She didn't mind that her drunken abusive grandfather had died but nobody messed with her cubby house.
"Pass me those binoculars," she said to the nearest officer. Looking out across the large stretch of grass next to her house, she saw George's tank in the distance, firing shots at unknowing civilian cars.
"Daddy, get the plane ready."
Daddy pig pressed a button on his Nokia and an F-16 smashed through the wall of the Pigs' house. Peppa jumped into the open hatch and flew off over the town. Soon enough, she had George's tank in her sights and loaded a Fox-2 missile.
"Goodbye motherfucker," she whispered, firing the missile. There was a short period of silence followed by an earsplitting boom. George's tank was engulfed in flames and dirt. Peppa laughed wildly.
She was about to turn to head home when she saw the gun of George's tank move. Slowly, the massive armoured cavalry rose from the rubble, apparently unscathed.
'Shit,' Peppa thought. She was about to fire another missile when she felt a huge jolt rip through the F-16. The starboard wing had been torn off and the plane was spinning sharply towards the ground. Peppa felt beneath her and ejected.
George saw Peppa falling as her parachute expanded behind her. He told his henchman to load a shell into the massive gun. He pointed it at Peppa and fired. The shell missed by a mile. Noticing this, Peppa whipped out a specialised RPG and aimed it at the tank.
"Welcome to the party, pal!" she screamed as she fired. George jumped to safety just before his tank was obliterated. He flipped off Peppa as she drifted to the ground.
Peppa sprinted towards him, whipping out a light machine gun as she ran. George armed himself with a deagle and shot Peppa's left hand. She howled in pain and dropped the machine gun, instead grabbing a battle axe from her back pocket. George attempted to take her out in close combat with a sawed-off shotgun, but she knocked it out of his hands and pinned him to the ground, battle axe in her teeth.
"I have you now," she grunted. Peppa lifted one hand and raised the axe, preparing to obliterate his skull.
Suddenly, George reached behind him and grabbed a hidden Remington-700 sniper rifle. He pointed it at Peppa's stomach and fired at point-blank range, not even bothering to use the scope. Peppa dropped the axe to her side, blood gushing from her stomach. George pushed her away, disgusted, as she bled to death in the dirt. She let out her final breath and George set her on fire. He was about to eat the fresh bacon when he heard police sirens in the distance.
