Polar Opposites

Chapter 10

"It happened."

The words made Elsa set her coffee mug down on the table in front of her very slowly. Anna's words could mean a dozen different things, and clearly she was trying not to react strongly one way or another. "What happened?"

"It. You know." Shrugging one shoulder, she eased into her seat at the far end of the couch upstairs in the coffee house. Their spot. "That thing you said I should go do with people."

"You had sex."

"Yeah. That thing."

"Alright."

They both sat in silence for about a minute, drinking their respective beverages and staring out the window at the gently-falling snow. It wasn't an altogether uncomfortable moment despite the topic at hand. Just one they shared.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to yell at me? Or hit me, or tell me you're disappointed or something?"

Elsa looked over at her out of the corner of her eye. "Why would I? You said it yourself, I told you to go forth and bang many bodies. It'd be kind of stupid for me to get upset about it now."

"I just... don't understand this. Any of this." Pinching the bridge of her nose, Anna set her mug down this time. "The whole thing about relationships is supposed to be that you don't cheat, right? Then what the hell did I do last night?"

"You pursued your interests, which I said you could. If you had done it without telling me, or after I asked you not to, then yeah, it would be a pretty big slap in the face. But that's not how it went."

"Are you going to honestly sit there and tell me that... that this didn't hurt you? At all, even a tiny bit?"

Her shrug was nominal, but her shoulders were clearly tighter than usual. "I won't lie to you. But I'm not hurt by what you did. I'm... hurt by what I can't do."

"Then it's my turn to give you hell," Anna told her, turning to face her properly. "Because I told you that I don't need it from you."

"Yes, I remember."

"Then why beat yourself up about it?"

"Why beat yourself up about doing what comes naturally to you?" When Anna didn't seem to have an answer for that, and merely sat there with her legs tucked under herself, blinking and trying to come up with a response, she took another sip before asking, "Who was it?"

"Wow," Anna muttered, "pry much?"

"Just curious. Honestly, you're under no obligation to answer if you don't feel like telling me. None of my business."

"I was kind of not serious..." Her eyes slid away from Elsa. "Just some guy I got with before we met. We ran into each other... I dunno, I think he's kind of like me. We're only after some fun, not to get attached. It's not even really a friendship or anything, just... we both dig each other's parts, I guess. Something like that."

"Were you... safe?"

It was a very loaded question, and Anna's face set as if she were very angry. But then she closed her eyes for a moment before she leaned in and bumped their foreheads together.

"I would never do anything that might even possibly put you in danger."

"But I don't care about m-"

"NEVER."

Nodding, Elsa leaned forward and left a small kiss on the tip of Anna's nose. "Thank you. For being safe, for your sake, not mine."

"Yeah." Then she kissed Elsa's cheek again, before pulling back. "And I am sorry that this happened, for any part of you that might be low-key hurt and not owning up to it. It's... I was really conflicted."

"Thought you might be." Her smile was bitter as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Obviously, there's kind of a hidden guilt trip that goes with 'you can have sex with whoever you want and I'll still love you', even if it's a side effect for me and not anything I actually wanted to put on you. So like... I'm sorry about that."

A smirk flashed across Anna's face, and she poked her girlfriend-or-whatever in the shoulder. "You knew about the guilt trip, and didn't stop it. Is that like a mini-revenge?"

"No! Damn it, I did try to tell y-"

"Kidding, kidding!" They both laughed, but the laughter died pretty quickly. "So... would you be alright with me and Kristoff doing this more often, or nah?"

"Kristoff?"

"Yeah. That's his name."

"The Kristoff who works downstairs?"

At that, Anna's cheeks turned a bit more pink. "Oh, I, um... I wasn't thinking about that, you already maybe knowing who he is. Does that make it worse?"

"Honestly?" She took a moment to mull it over. "I don't know. Maybe? Maybe not. Maybe I have no idea what I'm saying anymore."

"Sorry..."

"You have a thing for blondes?" When Anna looked up sharply, she held her hands up in front of her chest. "Kidding! We're kidding around today, right? I'm sure it's a coincidence."

Laughing quietly, the other girl turned to face the window fully and picked up her drink, blowing across the top and sipping at it. They both stayed like that for nearly two full minutes before the silence was broken again.

"You can tell me to stop."

"I won't."

"But you can. Like, even if you're telling me 'it's fine' today and in two weeks you're like 'it's not fine anymore', you have that power. I'm giving it to you."

"Duly noted. Thank you." But again, they lapsed into silence. Elsa twitched in her seat and then said, "So, um... do you want to come up to my room later? We could finish Sense8."

"Yeah, that sounds awesome!" Anna replied too eagerly. "I mean, if you're free."

"Of course I am - I asked you, silly!"

Again, she laughed self-consciously, staring down at her knees. It seemed no matter what she did, no matter how hard Elsa tried to reassure her, she couldn't shake the feeling that she had really messed up. Only time would tell just how okay she really was with their new arrangement. For the time being, however, she was simply satisfied to be with her, to share their usual gentle gibes and stories. That was worth its weight.

~ To Be Continued ~