Is This Life?

Virtue

I woke up to the dull buzzing of the alarm clock, I sighed, rolled over and rubbed my eyes. As I leant to turn off the alarm I suddenly sat up remembering it was my first day at college, then the same feeling returned, nerves, butterflies hitting all sides of my stomach trying to break free and splatter the walls with emotion.

I rolled over hoping that I could fall back asleep and not have to get up but without a knock my door flew open and my dad strode in, a wide grin on his face holding a tray "Good Morning Lilypad, I made your favourite" I breathed in deeply "French toast!" I soothed, my stomach gurgling at the thought of food.

"I know you're nervous about today love, especially as you don't have your mums support but wherever she is I bet she's thinking of you"

"Dad please you talk about her as if she's dead. She ran off for a reason so no I doubt I'm the first thought in her head each morning" My dad stared at me, pity seeping out of his eyes, I then realised it wasn't just me she left, she'd left my dad too. "Look dad I'm sorry I didn't mean it"

"It's fine Lilypad just get that breakfast down you and get ready I'm taking you to college in T minus 30 minutes" he yelled as he dashed out of my bedroom, it seemed it was an effort to psych me up, to motivate me and persuade me that this wasn't going to be the start of 2 hellish years.

My stomach growled loudly as I remembered that I was infact absolutely starving, I wolfed down the french toast, wishing I could savour each bite but the bathroom was calling my name and telling me to wash my hair. My feet felt heavy as I pushed them over the side of the bed, my slow pace wasn't helping either, anything to keep me back.

"Lil I can hear you wearing a hole in the carpet, get a move on!" My dad urged, he was always one for being on time, never a minute late, so I had what felt like the quickest shower ever, barely letting the hot beads soak into my skin before jumping back out into the cold bathroom air. I dried my long dark hair as fast as I could, tugging at the brush every now and then as the bristles got stuck in my thick locks.

Packing a bag with a notepad and pencil case I had no idea what was in store for me at college but hopefully it would be better than the rumours. I was pushed out of the door and into the car and before I knew it we were on our way.

"Breakfast was AMAZING thanks dad" I smiled reminding myself of how delectable it was. "No problem Lilypad I wanted to give you a good start to a great day"

"Dad don't..." the words left my lips and before I knew it, a dad style rant was heading my way.

"No Lily you stop. I just don't get it, you picked the college, the course and said you loved it, what's changed over summer Lil, why don't you want this any more?"

"Nothing's changed dad I'm just scared, all of my friends have left they're at other schools, I don't know anyone, I don't even know my way around the campus"

"Sweetie you'll be fine, you have a map, or you can always ask people, plus you'll make friends in no time"

"How do you know?" I questioned, I felt like a 5 year old child starting primary school, not a 16 year old starting college.

"Dads honour" He winked at me just as we pulled up outside the gates I smiled back at him and we did our secret handshake, it consisted of all sorts of hand movements but we hadn't done it since before mum left so we failed miserably and ended up laughing about it. I got out of the car and walked round to my dads window.

He noticed my grimace and lowered his voice "you'll be fine Lilypad just have fun" and then he drove off, rather fast, I assume he was annoyed by my resiliance to come to college, but I shrugged it off and made my way through the gates. The first thing I noticed was that everyone knew eachother, I felt like a fish out of water, swallowing the lump in my throat I found the freshers board telling me where I needed to go "The box" I muttered so quitely I didn't think anyone would hear.