FFXIV and Dissidia: Knights of Ishgard

CHAPTER TWELVE: HESITATE

When Saoirse woke the next morning to the news that a blizzard had come to Coerthas overnight she felt defeated. Count Durendaire offered to let them stay until conditions improved, but it would be a few days before they could return to Ishgard.

Saoirse laid curled up on the bed, hugging one of the pillows and Aymeric sat on the edge of the bed near her.

He gently placed his hand upon her head. "I know you'd hoped to speak with Estinien, but it will simply be a few days. Surely, he will wait for you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder they say."

She sat up, still hugging her pillow. "I'm sorry, Aymeric. I make for terrible company."

"Nonsense. We just need to seize our time with more engrossing pursuits." Aymeric stood and offered Saoirse his hand. "If you stay active, you devote less time to contemplating the matters that pain you. So, let us leave behind this room for a time and see what we can do to entertain ourselves."

"Alright." Saoirse took his hand and let him lead the way and just like the night before, Aymeric was sure to preoccupy her heart with happier things.

They spent some time in Forlemort's library, reading, something Estinien didn't care much for. When they tired of that, Aymeric prepared their lunch and Saoirse was impressed by his skills in the kitchen. They spent the rest of the afternoon playing card games and trading stories with some of the guests that remained in manor with them. After dinner, Aymeric offered to teach Saoirse dance before they eventually retired to their quarters.

While Saoirse bathed Aymeric poured a glass of wine and continued reading one of the texts he'd taken from Forlemort's library to distract his own mind.

"Your turn." Aymeric looked up to see Saoirse drying her hair with a towel. She was wearing a pair of pastel pink shorts and matching tank top and even in its simplicity it was more than he could handle.

He diverted his gaze, setting his book aside as he stood. "Right. There's wine if you wish." He glanced back at her briefly. She was facing away from him, brushing out her hair. He was finding it increasingly difficult to look at her without want. He turned away and shut the door behind him before he acted on his need. Perhaps cold water would do him some good.

Saoirse helped herself to a glass of wine and looked out the window. The world was painted white. The snow that had begun to fall late the night before was accompanied by fierce wind, making it difficult to see anything. She wandered if Estinien had returned to Fortemps manor...was he in Ishgard waiting for her? Was he safe at least?

"Are you thinking about Estinien?" Saoirse broke from her thoughts at the sound of Aymeric's voice.

She turned from the window to respond and paused, taken back by the sight of him. He was shirtless and water dripped from his hair down the definition of his chest. She felt herself staring and looked at the ground. "I suppose I let my mind wander back to him for a moment."

Aymeric flipped his hair back, out of his eyes before refilling his wine glass and taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "Reasonably so. I apologize if that appeared reprimanding."

"No, not all. I know you're just worried about me."

"Well, if you wish to retire for the evening, I won't keep you." Aymeric went to stand by Saoirse stopped him.

"Actually, I'm not really tired quite yet...but I could use a distraction. Triple triad?"

He nodded. "Sure."

They sat at the center of the bed facing one another as they played their hands. It proved to be the distraction they both needed. Laughing between drinks and Saoirse's terrible plays. Amid their laughter they heard a commotion outside the door, but before either of them could move, the door burst open.

"Saoirse!" Estinien stood in the doorway, covered in snow with two of Forlemort's knights pulling at him from both sides.

Saoirse and Aymeric both sat stunned, but they weren't the only ones.

Whatever fight Estinien had when bursting in quickly vanished at the sight of them. Saoirse's flushed face, wine glasses, and a half naked Aymeric sitting across from her on a bed in dim lighting was enough to crush his spirit. He didn't care about the cards or what it was that had been making Saoirse laugh before he entered...what bothered him was that she failed to realize the subtle intimacy...that someone else saw this side of her. He felt defeated, and he didn't just blame Aymeric. He blamed her and himself for pushing her to him.

Saoirse threw down her cards and went to approach Estinien, but he held up his hand to stop her. "Don't. Not a word." He lowered his gaze. "You made your choice." He shoved the guards off him and turned his back to her. "I hope he makes you happy, since I so clearly could not."

"Estinien, wait!" Saoirse ran after him and grabbed him by the arm. "Please, don't go. I can explain."

"Let me go, Saoirse."

"No! Not until you listen to what I have to say."

"Now, Saoirse. I won't ask again."

"No!"

Estinien tossed her aside, causing her to fall back to the ground. "I have no interest in your excuses...I no longer have any interest in you. Do as you please with whoever you please. If you don't care, then neither do I." Estinien glanced back at Aymeric. "Have her."

He stormed out the front doors, wind forcing snow inside as they shut behind him.

Aymeric rushed to Saoirse's side. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine." She stood on her own and walked back to the room without another word.

Aymeric looked to the knights who'd attempted to stop Estinien. "My sincerest apologies for the trouble my comrade has caused. He will be dealt with." He excused himself and rejoined Saoirse in the room.

Aymeric approached Saoirse slowly. "Saoirse, say something, please."

She turned to face him and smiled through her tears. "I don't know what to do anymore, Aymeric. It's never right."

"That could not be further from the truth. You didn't do anything wrong. Estinien's ego is at fault. Not you."

"What am I supposed to do?" Saoirse tried to stop the tears, but every time she wiped them away more would fall. "I can't stand the thought of being without him."

"But you can," Aymeric paused and looked to the floor. Why did he still hesitate when she could so clearly be happy with him. He swallowed and pushed her back onto the bed. He inched over top of her and met her eyes with his. "The root of your pain cannot be the same as your happiness."

"Aymeric?"

He leaned in close to her and whispered, "I can help you forget." His breath kissed the skin of her neck, sending a chill along her spine. "If that is your wish...Then let me present you one final distraction." He kissed down her neck and stopped just before the collar of her shirt. He pushed himself up so he could look down at her. There were tears in her eyes, but she didn't turn away from him. He cupped her face in his hand and kissed her. He was gentle, deliberate in the way his lips brushed against hers. He urged her gently, bringing his tongue to hers, just long enough to taste her. He pulled away slowly and searched her eyes.

Saoirse placed her hand to his cheek and smiled, unable to hide her sadness even then. "Aymeric...I can't...This isn't fair to you."

"Fairness be damned." He kissed her again, but it wasn't like before. He was quick to deepen his passion, hungry with want. He laced his fingers with hers and pinned her hands into the mattress. He didn't care what became of his heart. He'd hesitated long enough...it was his hesitation that saw Estinien win her heart, and he wouldn't lose to him again. Tonight, she would be his.