The END to it all

You said revenge wrong

"yo A..... wassup with you, you haven't been out this room since you got home late last night after yo therapy session. We just tryna make sure you okay". Des spoke as she leaned against my bedroom door.

she stood there for a moment, while I sat there in silence. as I could hear her footsteps slowly walking away, I got up and opened the door and then sat back down on my bed. she walked in.

"close the door please" I said with my head against the pillow. After closing the door she came and sat next to me.

"Asia wassup with you, you been moping around here for the past week, like somebody killed yo puppy or some. "

"I just got a lot going on "

"alot going on .. bitch don't try to sell me that bullshit like ian been here before." Des said as she pulled my head out the pillow. "Sit up and tell me wassup Asia" I looked at her and took a deep breath.

"I feel like im in this sunken place , like im being dragged back down to that point in my life and I don't know how to stop it. It's like it got roots on me and no matter how hard i axe them it dont make a chip. and yesterday at therapy I broke down it's like everything was pouring out of me about what happened but even then when I let it out it still felt like i was still being dragged down."

Des was about to say something until I interrupted. "Des this shit is hard, everybody else done moved on with their life, my mom remarried and moved, maxine finishing up school and focused on her track career, Jalen has a new girlfriend and a son, Naomi is modeling, and then it's me going to therapy , looking over my shoulder everyday tryna stay outta jail moving this shit coming home at the end of the night crying myself to sleep or rolling one just to go to sleep. So how come the people responsible for what happened to me or the ones who gave up on me afterwards doing good but me i'm doing the worse."

Des pulled me into a side hug " Asia you may not be where you wanna be with your life right now but trust the process, you got a lot of healing to do. your life's not going to move forward if you still stuck on the past. shit i use to be sleeping on the park benches getting shitted on my pigeons, going weeks without food sometimes i had nobody, and when i did use to get a lil bit of money i spent it on crack because it was the only thing i felt like was helping me escape from this fuck up reality i was living. then Curt found me begging for food at mcdonalds. he brought me a meal and sat and ate with me and asked me what my story was he asked and i told. he let me lay my head at his spot which then was nothing but a lil raggedy trailer off the south but it was more than what i had. he told me that i could stay with him but i had to get my shit together. we had trials and tribulations but that's another story for another time. point of the story was we all had a rough point but it's up to us if we gone keep letting it live for us or are we going to take back our life and start living it. you gotta forgive Asia its hard but you gotta get that peace to move on."

"ian with all that forgivness shit, fuck them, i almost died , shit i feel like i did die cuz ian been the same since, i shed blood they asses should shed blood too i want them to hurt just as bad as i did."

"Yo A you don't mean that you just letting your anger get the best of you. you kill em then what, you go to jail now you really aint got no life."

" trust me Des if i do this right no finger will point back to me. "

" so what you got a whole fucking playbook for this shit Asia?"

" yes i've been hurting for years , years of planning years of pain, years of no remorse."

" Man Asia if Curt knew what you were up to he would have yo ass."

" this is my business to handle this aint got shit to do with nobody else but me."

" Your right this yo shit this yo business but A ion wanna see you go down the wrong road getting yo self caught up in some shit just because yo feelings get the best of you."

"imma be straight i got me Des shit if everything fail i got my escape route.... One to the head and this time I won't miss."

Des sat there in silence and looked at me in worry. " Just promise me you'll talk to Curt before you do anything. PROMISE ME ASIA."

"Okay i promise." I said " But there is no progress without bloodshed."

authors note

im sorry this chapter was kind of short and boring and kind of all over the place but we about to start getting into the story now just bear with me.