her ocean eyes // billie eilish

chapter 49

Billie's POV:

I slowly scroll, eventually ending up on the original post. Katherine's dad's post.

@smithbrad231: Tomorrow marks 2 years since I lost the little boy that lit up my life. Miss you more than words. Suicide is never an easy topic but it's also never a topic you can shy away from. Tomorrow would have been your 15th birthday. I love you forever, James.

Why hadn't she mentioned anything to me? I knew the one night at the park she had mentioned it was almost two years but it seems as if she would have been sad leading up to this day.

Maybe she just wanted to hide her being sad, or maybe she was too hung up with me to remember. I really hope that isn't the case.

I feel Katherine moving a little bit, but I quickly put up my phone before she could see it.

"I cant stay asleep." She says, flipping over to place her cheek on my chest.

"Well, we can do something else if you want. It's only 7. I'm kinda hungry."

"As always." She says, laughing into my neck.

She sits up, rubbing her eyes and then lazily laying back down dramatically.

"That doesn't do much for you, babe. Get up, I want taco bell." I say, reaching my hand out to drag her out of bed.

"Fine."

She gets up, throwing a pair of joggers over her bare legs, leaving her regular t-shirt on. She puts on a little mascara, which always confuses me because she does this even if we're only going to a drive-through.

She turns around, smiling at me. Her cute little "just took a nap" smile is always the cutest. Especially because she's usually grumpy when she wakes up.

We walk into her living room, seeing her father just now walking in the door, obviously distressed.

I tried to pretend I didn't see the post, and I smile at him, asking how he's been.

"I've been okay. Thank you for asking, Bil." He said, half smiling. Obviously lying, you could tell by the way he carried himself.

"Hey dad we're gonna go get some food. Do you want anything from taco bell?" She said, smiling.

"No, I'm okay." He says, plopping down on the couch.

She nods, waving at him as we walked out the door.

"Hey, Katherine?" he says, looking up from his head in his hands. "I love you, drive safe."

That's the first time I think I've heard him say that. And if I've him say it before, it wasn't that sincere.

"I love you too, dad. I will." She says, shutting the door behind her.

"He's acting different." She says, pulling her keys out of her pocket.

"Yeah, I noticed too."

"What's today?" Katherine says, stopping in her tracks. "Is it November 28th?"

She seems almost frantic when she says that.

"It's the 27th." I say, as I watch her eyes drop.

Fuck.

"So, that's why he's acting off." She says,  clicking the key to her car door, sitting down in the drivers seat. She places her head on the steering wheel, sighing.

"Are you okay, love?" I say, placing a hand on her thigh as comfort.

"Tomorrow marks two years of my brother being gone."

I already knew that, but hearing it come from her made my entire body shift in emotion.

"Can you drive?" She says, very obviously about to cry.

"Of course baby."

We both get out, walking around the back of the car. But, I stop her before we switch.

"I'm really sorry about this. I don't know how to help, but I want you to know I won't leave your side for this entire week if you need me to. I'll lay in bed with you all day if you need me to. I love you." I say, kissing her forehead as a tear drops from her eyes.

"What did I do to deserve you?" She says, putting her head under my chin as she hugs me.

"Just being you. Nothing else. Now, let's go get some taco bell to cheer you up."

She laughed at that.

I walk around to the drivers seat, moving the seat back so I'm not as close to the steering wheel.

I hand Katherine the aux, and she plugs it into her adapter, then her phone before playing our playlist.

She made a playlist for songs that we both like and listen to together. I immediately recognized it when the playlist name on the screen said "to neptune and back."

I smile softly, as I start to back out of her long driveway.

I hold my hand out to hold hers as I drove, and every now and then I'd feel her rubbing her thumb on mine.

I really love this girl.

We both sang along to all the songs in the car, and I could tell she was upset but she seemed happy that somebody was with her. I don't think she's ever had somebody here for her like this. Maybe Madison, but fuck her.

I pull into the drive-thru, and order two bean burritos with only beans, while Katherine gets a black bean burrito with a side of cinnamon twists.

I pull up to the window, and the worker immediately recognizes me.

"Wait, you're Billie Eilish right? My daughter loves you." She says, excitedly.

"Awh, that's so cool. Tell her I said hi. What's her name?" I ask, as she proceeds to pull out her phone.

"Her name's Abby."

"Here, I can make a little video for her real quick." I say, as she hands me her phone.

"Hi Abby! It's Billie. I just met your mom in the Taco Bell drive-through" I say, laughing as I show her mom in the camera. "I love you and I hope you're doing well." I blow a kiss before I ended the video, handing her back the phone.

I love interacting with fans, even if it's just the littlest things.

I wave goodbye, slowly pulling out of the line, heading back to Katherine's house.

"You're so sweet to everyone." Katherine says, smiling uncontrollably. That's such a good sight right now.

"I try, I try." I say, acting overly flattered.

She laughs, grabbing my hand again.

She stopped herself from laughing, to look into the side of my face. I can tell she's looking at me by her stance.

"I really love you. So much, Billie."