It's been a while since we've talked, I really can't help but feel like its all my fault. Im writing to say I'm sorry and I miss you. Things have changed so much. Who knew how quickly life can do a 180 in just under a year. I hate it here.
I don't know how to get back to who I used to be; but I desperately want to. I'm so closed off from the world, not really indulging in anything that used to excite me. This can't be what growing up and maturing is. The world just looks so bleak and untrustworthy. I can't help but feel that every sound I make is drowned out by the sound of the ocean. The waves are crashing against the shoreline now. Is it hurricane season? Is it going to knock my foundation down? Do I have everything I need to survive? Truth is I'm petrified of trying to live through this; Im just not strong enough on my own. I held my own for so long, but my arms are getting weary. Where did everyone go? Im slowly losing everything I hold dear. It's sitting there, just waiting to be swept up in the storm.
My raincoat is drenched every day, that heat and warmth is something of a myth. It must be almost to its maximum water weight. With no hood or roof, how do I protect my mind? The bitter wind knocked my oxygen out of my lungs; and it's getting harder and harder to breathe. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! I'm so sick of fighting for something that doesn't want to be fought for. I think letting the storm take me too is the best solution. I'd rather just let go and feel myself be soaked and torn apart from the storm then take a stand against the wind and one by one feel myself slip from existence. I don't want to go out fighting; I've been fighting long enough. I want peace. That's all I want. Please grant me my peace Mr. Ferryman.
