The One Who Got Away is Back

Memory 4 ♡ Brand New Sorority

I rushed home with the same funny walk a person got when they were in dire need of visiting the restroom. For some reason I couldn't shake off the fact that I was rattled, and I offloaded all that energy on scrubbing every surface of the apartment while listening to my best friend's band. But even loud rock wasn't unable to prevent my mind from wandering.

When I'd been a sophomore at Trinity, my roommate had been expelled from school. Her name had been Jessica Ashford, and her crime had been to have kissed another girl on a dare. She and I had never been close, but I thought it was bullshit that only she would face any sort of repercussions despite the fact that it had been the victim who had dared her. After she left, there had been an uneven number of girls in my class, which meant I'd be alone in a dorm room meant for two.

It had been wonderful. Jess had been a bit of a control freak who wanted everything organized and neat, and I had no patience for that. I figured I'd now be free to keep all my things strewn about every surface with no accountability but my own. Except things weren't as blissful. Soon after the rumors started. Nobody liked gossiping about other people's business better than the kids who attended Trinity, so naturally someone figured that if Jessica was a lesbian, then by the fact that I shared room with her must have meant I'd been corrupted.

First of all, how dare they. Jess was bi.

Second of all, just because we shared space didn't mean I automatically morphed who I was because of who she was. Or got her into me. Or for that matter, got into her. It was the same kind of homophobic, shitty logic of a guy who was afraid of even being in the same space as someone gay, thinking that automatically made them attracted to him. No, people had tastes of their own.

I was even lonelier after she left, especially when the bullying begun. At first I let everything slide, hoping that if I didn't show any reactions they'd grow bored and leave me alone. Instead it got even worse, until at some point a couple of girls stole my clothes while I was showering, hoping to humiliate me. They ended up with a bunch of bruises and I landed in detention as punishment for giving them their new looks.

That was where I met Page, her boyfriend, Jace, and his roommate, Miguel. They'd been busted for sneaking out of the school grounds during class hours but they'd liked my story much better and even though they were seniors, they invited me to have lunch with them. I remembered giving them a polite non-answer, but they found me at the cafeteria and sat with me anyway. That day and the next, and the next, and every day until they graduated.

They'd been lifesavers to me, a point of brightness in an otherwise gloomy school environment. Especially Page. She'd been the one to see my fascination with fashion and ask me why I didn't convert it into a career. It'd got me thinking a lot that year. Did I love it because I'd grown up seeing my mother embellish herself with exclusive pieces of clothes and jewelry? Was it because I wished they'd suit me?

"I don't know," she'd told me one afternoon as we sat on the grass. She ran her fingers through the green blades and said, "Why don't you create something and see how that makes you feel?"

She was the first person I made a piece of clothing for, the reason I knew I wanted to do what I did.

I hadn't been as close to the boys. Jace was always with his girlfriend, and had no option but to get used to me tagging along. He was nice and friendly, but at times I could feel his frustration at not being alone with Page as much as he wanted, which was why I tried to make myself scarce as often as I could. As soon as he realized what my efforts were all about, he grew more of a liking to me.

It had been more complex with Miguel. He had probably been feeling like a third wheel that way since before I came into the picture, and taking advantage of the distraction I provided he dived right into the dating pool at Trinity and rumor had it, outside of its walls as well. If that didn't keep him busy, his little sister Charlie did. She was in my class and I'd tried to steer clear of her since freshman year. It wasn't just rumors that she was somewhat unstable and anti-social and far too much for someone like me to deal with. She really was. Being in the social proximity of her or her brother gave me anxiety, until one day she told me I was cool in her books.