This is my third time resetting this blog. I wish I could hit the backspace button on my life the same way I did this. I want to go back to a time when my heart did not have such deep desires.
People don't like deep. Guys have told me this to my face. Friends have advised me bury those parts of me and take on a simpler mindset. But I can't and it is so hard being a real thing in a fake world.
I know someone will see that as special and not as a burden like so many have. That I am a rarity, not a high maintenance chore; a deep and beautiful ocean to explore, not a shallow shore.
I've been patient waiting. I long for intimacy but I refuse to settle for anyone that doesn't see me in this light. I'm done trying to make the wrong boys care about me. They will care or they won't and I accept that it is not up to me.
I feel completely confident in the woman that I have become. I have been working on my emotions and mentality to be ready and open for when someone pursues me. I have dealt with all of my past hurts which is why they are no longer posted here. The past is important because it shapes who we are, but I don't words tattooed here that are already on my heart.
I'm in such a good place right now. I wake up happy everyday knowing I have so many people that I have the privilege to love and talk to every day. They bring laughter and light into my life. They touch my heart deeply.
This is where I am now. I am ready for what comes next. I am also ready to wait indefinitely until that time as I am comfortable with my own company. I love myself and my heart. It will never be too much, not to me. There is so much more to explore in the depths than in the shallows.
