Only us left

Chapter 2: I want him here

I hear a loud noise and it makes me wake up from my deep sleep right away. Shards of glass is spread all over the dark wooden floor. I had been sleeping with a glass in my hand. Again.

It has now been 3 weeks since my brother Sam's death. Since then, I have a habit of drinking before sleep. It keeps my nightmares away. All my nightmares were about Sam of course. It was usually him torturing me and wanting me dead for not helping him more than I did. Pain spreading all through my body just like the broken glass on the floor, just like that one dark cloud in the sky that turns into rain, just like me losing my only family. Then there's only screams, tears, and blood. Waking up was always the worst part, not having him there. I want him here, even if he tortured me. I want him here.

I blink my tired eyes and sit up in the small couch I have been calling my bed these last 3 weeks. This is a small room. I don't need a room with two beds anymore, I only need one with one bed.

I hear a swosch and I look behind me. Castiel. That son of a bitch.

- So now you come, I say with the angriest tone of my voice I can possibly do.

- Look Dean, I'm sorry I should have come earlier. I needed time to adjust too.

Adjust? Is that what he thinks I've been doing? I'm so mad at him. But damn, that dark raspy voice always gets me. 

I notice that his hair is messy, it looks almost like a birds nest. His tired blue eyes looking even more tired and the clear blue seems almost gone. His eyes are darker now. He hasn't been adjusting. He's been doing what I've been doing. Trying to forget.

- Adjust huh? I say with a low voice. I tried to sound sarcastic, but that was almost impossible. The clump in my throat hurted too much.

We look at eachother in silence for a minute. His puppy eyes meeting mine. His beautiful blue eyes, not being so beautiful anymore. He swallows ones, and then opens his mouth, as if to say something, but he closes it right away. The silence botheres me, so I stand up, hearing the glass breaking even more as I step on it. I walk to him, and I hug him hard. Tears streaming down my face like a river. We stand there for a while, just hugging. His arms around my back, holding on tight as if he don't want to lose me.

We have chemistry, we really do. In fact everyone knows that by now. I'm just scared what could happen if we ever got that close. If I lose Castiel again, I don't know what I will do. Castiel is the only one I have left now.

He loosens his grip around me and we stop hugging. He pats me on my shoulder trying to smile, but there's only pain in that face.

He looks at the door, then at me.

- We have to go Dean. 

We have to go. Something has happened. I feel a weight in my stomach and I feel like throwing up. Too much is happening now. I try to blink away the tears in my eyes and then I look him straight in the eyes with my most worried and concerned look. Because I am worried and concerned.

- What has happened Cas? Something is very wrong, right? My voice is so shaky, it is hard to speak.

- It's heaven. It's collapsing, again, but this time it is so much worse.

There's a dead silence for a couple of seconds.

- Heaven won't exist in a few months. Neither will I.