"Have you ever met someone who felt like the sun?" "Sure. But have you ever met someone who felt like the human version of the moon? Someone who, every time you're with them, you don't need to feel warm. You're just allowed to feel."
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Likes: 78.1k Comments: 1,021 —————————————————————————— @sophiknight : hi New York, nice to meet you
@user: gorgeous bby
@user1: NYFW ?!?
@user2: blessing the TL
@user3: can't believe u have never been here !
@alexademi: welcome to it, honey
@Travis.Management: stunning
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New York was a dream. But I knew I might not be here long.
I've worked so hard for this
I kept repeating that in my head. My agent scheduled an audition for Next Models, a modeling agency that had a lot of notoriety around the world. I sat at dinner in a heap of anxiety.
Tomorrow's the big day Don't mess this up
Coming from small town Missouri, this was my shot. My one and only shot. If I didn't land this, I was going to lose my agent and my chance to be anything in the fashion industry.
I already blew all of my other auditions: IMG Models, Muse Model Management, New York Model Management. I was used to hearing no.
"Is your order correct? You've hardly touched your food." The waitress politely asked.
"Yeah, it's perfect thank you!" I say as I stab my fork into the chicken breast.
I put the food in my mouth and my agents face turns sour. "Don't swallow. You won't want to be bloated for tomorrow." He hands me a napkin and urges it at me.
How dumb am I? I don't need to eat any more tonight. I'll be okay.
I obey and quickly spit the remains of the chicken in the napkin. My agent, Travis, he's hard on me but he knows best. He sees a lot of potential in me and he realizes this is my last shot to make us both successful.
"I'm sorry, Travis. I shouldn't be this stupid." I mutter under my breath.
"Don't blow this for the both of us. Once you get to the hotel how about you take a nice shower and get to bed early. You don't need dark circles under your eyes tomorrow, alright?" Travis explains.
He just wants what's best for me. That's all. Tough love.
I smile. "Yeah, of course. How about I walk home now? I could use the exercise before tomorrow, and I'm so exhausted. I don't really want to sit in front of a plate of food."
"Great idea, Soph. I'll finish my glass of wine and head back to my room after. You can catch me there if you need anything." Travis is beaming at the sight of my compliance.
I stand up and place my napkin neatly on top of my plate. The hotel is only a couple blocks away, and I am excited to finally be alone. For the past two days, I've been with Travis, constantly listening to his demands in my ears.
"Don't eat that" "Sit up straight" "You could use a little more makeup" "Keep your eyes on your goal, your laziness won't get you there" "I'm taking a big risk on you? You realize that right? I know what I'm doing and you don't. Remember that."
His words echo in my ears. To be quite honest, he is right. He is the professional. I am truly lucky to even have his attention. He works with the "big dogs" in the business, as he likes to say. I'm a small town girl, that he dedicated a week of his busy schedule to be with. I'm basically charity work.
I'm looking for an agency to sign me. But, before each of my auditions anxiety cripples me. I become quiet, timid, lacking confidence. "No models lack confidence quite like you." Said Travis after my last no this morning from IMG Models. My pictures are great but, my interviews and walk, not so much. It's the pressure of the situation that trips me up. All I want is to make him proud, and if I don't get signed I'll be forced to go back home and Travis will drop me as a client.
I've never been to New York and after the stress and the anxiety behind each "no" that I receive. I think I should treat myself to a walk around the city. Alone. In peace.
