Save Me, Please

Hold Me, I'm Scared

Sitting in this room was just like sitting on the castle. He tried to remind himself. He got Marlene's letter two days ago saying he could come over today, except when he woke up this morning, he couldn't move. He rolled over in his bed and looked at his owl, Blinx. She stared back, hooting lightly. 

He soon turned back over in bed and closed his eyes, hoping to fall asleep, but only being stuck in his thoughts. Wondering why the hell he couldn't just get his ass up and go see Marlene. He soon enough came to the conclusion it was because he was simply not in a good mood today. In fact, he hasn't been this entire week. But that was to be expected. He was home after all. 

The door creaked open slightly and Sirius closed his eyes tightly, waiting for some kind of punishment when someone lie next to him and breathed in his shoulder. "Hey Siri." A smaller boy whispered. "It's two in the afternoon. You plan on getting up? Or should I just make you something to eat and hope you actually eat it this time?" The small voice asked. Sirius opened his eyes, a few tears coming out before he turned around in bed and pulled the smaller figure to his chest, hugging him.

The boy lay comfortably against the larger boys chest and closed his eyes, only wanting his brother to be better but knowing he wouldn't be. His parents refused to let Sirius take the medication he needed to stay happy and even if he did have the medication, there was no way he could ever be happy in this house. 

"I know their home, Reg." Came a raspy voice. It was the first thing he's said all week.

"Yeah but, you know it's only going to get worse." 

Sirius turned back over in bed after letting the boy go and closing his eyes, trying to lose all feeling. Regulas got the hint, got up, and left the room. Back into his own thoughts, Sirius could only question why in the world he wasn't normal. In a normal home. With a normal family.

When he was younger he could only see his family as normal, never understanding that parents weren't supposed to hit their children. That children weren't supposed to be killed for being different and thinking differently from their parents. It was only when he made it to Hogwarts did he realize he wasn't supposed to be scared of being killed for being in Gryffindor. That it was wrong. He only realized when James brought up how he was scared Remus was being hurt in his own home after going missing at the end of each month, returning with bruises and scars. 

He remembered how he searched constantly in books trying to find out if Remus was in danger when he soon enough realized that Remus was in so such danger, but he was. He remembered the first time he went home from Hogwarts. The beating that followed. The first aid he had to apply. He remembered that winter break as the time he learned first aid. Next was Summer, the time he learned what a true family acted like. Second year break, the time he learned how to dodge a hit. Second year summer, the time he learned to not cry over a beating. Third year break, the time he learned what make-up was. Third year summer, the time he learned that drinking was his escape. Fourth year summer, the first time he smoked a cigarette. Fourth year summer, the time he learned what depression was. Fifth year break, the first time he stayed in bed all week. Fifith year summer, the first time he attempted suicide. 

It was almost a blur but he couldn't help the feelings he got in this house and the words that always ran through his head. He knew he couldn't stay in bed all week and that he had to get up. He knew he was going to regret it but he also knew that no matter what he did, he was going to be forced to do things he shouldn't know how to do. 

He slowly got out of bed, his hair was messy and never looked worse. He stood with bags under his eyes that were worse than his sweatpants. He wore a t-shirt that was once Remus' but then stolen by the one and only Sirius Black. He walked slowly towards the door and opened it, walking even slower down the stairs, it was so silent as he walked down the stairs that he could hear the tiny creak. Step. Creak. Step. Creak. Step. Creak. 

When he got to the bottom floor, he turned and stopped at the kitchen arch. Regulas looked up and saw him, smiling lightly, knowing how it was going to be bad. Sirius only walked over to Regulas and sat down next to him, pulling out the chair and sitting down. 

"Look who finally decided to show up." A woman growled, stabbing the food in front of her and eating it, angrily.  Sirius only nodded, knowing she was only trying to rile him up. He looked down at his plate, his stomach growling lightly. He really should have eaten that meal at Hogwarts.

"Answer your mother, boy." A man growled to Sirius.

"She didn't ask a question." Sirius stated without any emotion, he knew he made a mistake, but he just couldn't think of why until he was pulled from his chair by his hair and slammed onto the floor. He heard another chair push out against the floor and knew it was Regulas, but Sirius could really only feel the blood pouring from somewhere. He couldn't quite figure out where. It all happened so quickly he couldn't even react.

Sirius slowly lifted himself up and felt the back of his head, quickly finding out that his head was in fact bleeding which did not help the fact that he was extremely dizzy. "I said, she didn't ask me a damn question." he growled, pissed off now. The next blow was a first to his head, which so quickly formed a bruise, it was quite impressive. Every instinct in his body told him not to fight back but there was this one tiny brain cell that told him to fight with everything he had, and he, of course, followed that one.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that boy!" His father said angrily. 

"If you're so tired of my voice then why don't you just kill me!" Sirius yelled. He soon realized what he said and knew he was in for it. With out a second to lose, he was being dragged by the hair to a room he hated more than anything. A room he would never escape. 

The door went slamming open and Sirius went flying into a wooden chair. He heard the door slam closed and knew the smell all to well. Blood. The room where his father did all his severe beatings. If he was put in this room, he was in trouble, he knew. he looked over to his right and knew he was screwed, he couldn't see straight, and he knew what was about to come.

"Crucio."

---

He lay in his bed for the second time, staring at the wall, wondering what he did to this world to deserve this. He couldn't move this time. He couldn't even move a finger. Everything hurt. His body was on fire. His voice was gone and his thoughts were strong. Every bone in his body was screaming at him to stay still, but he knew he had to send a message to James. He tried his hardest to move but he only screamed into his pillow for simply moving a finger. He stopped the movement and panted like a dog, giving up, and letting sleep simply over take him.

Please... Please...