Thoughts exposed

How you make me feel

1. I used to smile at the thought of you. Every time your name left my lips it rested on a bed of happiness tucked into a blanket of love resting on a pillow of memories both good and bad, but good enough to keep me smiling.
2. I no longer smile when I hear your name. Your name is a curse that I hear, causing a storm of negativity to flood my brain at any mention of you. I hate feeling that negativity about someone i thought I'd love forever.
3. Whenever you pop up on my story or in my feed I see something about your new boyfriend and my body is flooded with feelings of jealousy and anger. Why him?
4. When I saw those pictures of your body on his profile I was shocked. You always hated your body, treated it like a bad memory of someone abusive, like you could never trust it. You spent hours describing how much you hated it then some stranger you knew for maybe a week and a half took pictures of you undressed.
5. I hate to think maybe you look uncomfortable in the images he took of your body although it was probably just you being insecure about your body.
6. You're beautiful.
7. I can't think of you and not see everything that has happened between us since you ended it, realizing how maybe we were doomed from the beginning, to never end up together, even though at one time you were my world and I couldn't imagine life without you.
8. You saved my life at one time. Now you act like I don't exist.