Drinking from the bottle

Chapter One

There's only a certain amount of things you can keep trying to put off in your mind; that pile of laundry that you know needs doing, that shift you agreed to work next weekend but wish you never agreed to it, that £19.78 you owe your mate that you know you can't afford. Soon enough, you reach a time where you either give up caring or you get your shit together. I go off a saying I've heard before 'True beginnings start when you're the one sick of yourself'. I guess it speaks a lot of truth.

Your biggest motivation is your mind.

13th of August and I'm sprawled across my bed, surrounded by a mound of prawn cocktail crisp packets as I reflect on the last few months. At the end of college I didn't really feel any motivation to go any further with my degree and apply to any universities, it wasn't appealing in the slightest for me. Leave my hometown, and my friends, and give up my job just to try and get another piece of paper to say I wasted 2-3 years on minimal wage as I slaved my way through classes and working. No thanks. So I chose the easy way out, my dad however is probably the only person who still believes that I'm 'on a gap year, trying to find myself before I go back'. I just don't have the heart to tell him that I didn't want any more from education, being his only child he wants the best for me and has pulled way too many strings to keep me in any kind of school.. but It just wasn't my thing.

The sun was sleeping through the slips in my blinds as I lay on my back staring at the textured waves and bumps on my ceiling, a strip is sunlight shining on one of my ankles that dangled off the bottom of my bed. I could feel the tingle of heat across my skin as it lingers on the same spot.

I live such a simple life, I thought to myself as I rolled over to check the time on my phone. A few minutes past 2. And a text message from Caitlyn, Cat for short. I tilt the device so it is in sight of my face and the message opens on my screen.

"Oi, lazybones, fancy meeting? I've got a surprise for you." She adds another message with a bunch of misleading emojis. I send her a suspicious one back and tell her to give me a few minutes. Luckily for me, Cat knows I mean at least half an hour. She replies to tell me to meet her at The Swan.

I move my leg away from the heat and bring both of them to the side of my bed, swinging my arms from left to right to release some aching I had from laying down too long and then proceed to stretch my arms behind and in front. I only had a few things to grab and I piled them into my maroon backpack and wrapped it over my right arm. I wriggled my feet into my black trainers and unhooked my camera from the back of my door. As I went downstairs I untangled the strap of it.

I walked into the kitchen I called out, "Hey Dad, I'm off to meet Cat."

He was out in the garden mowing the lawn and I'm pretty sure he couldn't hear me as he focused on the precision of his steps, making sure he didn't miss a single spot. I stood near the back door and shouted over to him. He looked up and by the confused look on his face I knew he was surprised to see that I had even made it downstairs during the day, he squinted towards the door and turned the mower off.

"You alright, sweetheart?" His hand moved up to block the sunlight from his eyes.

I took a few steps out and was greeted by Milo our black and white Jack Russell, "Yeah, I'm ok." I kneeled down to comfort Milo as he jumped up at me.

"Cat's just asked me to meet her, you need me to grab anything while's I'm out?"

He moved his mouth to symbolise him thinking, "Uh, no I think we're good."

Our conversation went on a little longer as we just discussed dinner and what time he should expect me back. After the overly long winded conversation with him, I grabbed my keys and jumped into my car.

20 minutes after Cat had text me I finally parked up outside the local pub. She was sat outside on the rusty tables with a cigarette between her lips.

"What fucking time do you call this Esme?" She called as she exhaled the smoke. It's actually Esmeralda but Esme for short.

I shrugged, there's no point even trying to explain about being caught up with my dad, and well, Milo didn't help either. But I could see that she meant business so I kept quiet.

"So?" I stared at her, her left arm crossed over her baggy dungarees and her other one resting up as she smokes.

"Basically, change any none existent plans you may have this weekend, we're going to a gig, Friday night." She stubbed the end of her fag out into the clear ashtray in front of her.

"Ooh, who we seeing?" I ask, placing my bag at my feet.

"Well, as you know Nathan is on tour and it's all sold out right?" I nod. "I managed to talk to his manager and convince him to let you do some photography during the night, which also means early access, and you can finally see how good they are!"

I smiled at her but she knows I'm not that keen with going to concerts, last time I went to a gig with Cat she dragged me into a mosh pit and I fell into someone so hard I ended up with a black eye for weeks. I'm pretty sure she read my mind and placed her hand on my knee.

"No mosh pits." She raised her pinky and I crossed mine with it. "Besides I'm pretty sure we're not actually stood with the fans."

She knows how good this could be for me, I've been basically living off my blog posts and photography since I gave up any shot of getting a degree. One day, hopefully I'll work for a magazine, that would be the dream. But for now, any chances are better than nothing.

We proceed to talk about concert and Cat mainly brags about how good Nathan's band are live, and just Nathan in general, they've been seeing each other for a few months now but he doesn't want to put a label on it, whether that be because of insecurities or just because he's the kind that doesn't date, I wouldn't know. Boys are a whole other language, but Cat seems content with the way things were going so I didn't question it much. Their band, Young Decay,  aren't massively popular but they're good enough to do a few venues around the UK and one in Ireland.

Cat mumbles on whiles we sip on a pint and she ignites another cigarette. She tells me the location and all the essential details before we lead on to another conversation. In no time we could feel the heat getting to us along with the burning alcohol.