Mary's Bones

NINE

I couldn't focus. Every word my doctor said went in and out of the other ear. It didn't help that my pregnancy hormones were skyrocketing. A wet glassy blur coated my pupils, but the tears never fell. I was holding it together. John, on the other hand, was not.

"Are you crying? You're going to make me cry," I seethed.

He wiped at his face and shook his head. But tears were hanging from the brim of his eyelids as we both stared at the monitor showcasing Rosemary's sonogram picture. Her body was curled into a small circular shape, and her head was nearly touching her feet. The image was fascinating.

"Rosemary looks to be doing well." Doctor Welsh smiled. "Make sure she keeps it that way, please?" Her eyebrows lowered as her gaze met John's.

"Trying," John grumbled under his breath.

I sent them a sheepish smile, scratching the back of my head. Doctor Welsh sighed. "Here, you can pull your shirt down now." She handed me a paper towel. I took it and wiped the gel off my stomach.

"Now, Rosemary may be doing well. But you, on the other hand, are getting weaker. Have you been getting the proper nutrients? Taking the pills?" Her and John's eyes were on me now. I couldn't help but shift with discomfort.

"I'm going to take that as a no." She sighed again. "I need you to remember that you and John are no longer just caring for yourselves. If you're going to be selfish, that won't work. Now, I'm not saying it isn't okay for you to do what you want. But the more stress you put on your body, the worse you get.

"If you're not feeling hungry, try eating at least three small, well-balanced meals. You can even add in three small snacks: fruit, vegetables, whatever. Go for walks. Get some fresh air if you feel cooped up. But you've got to start thinking before you do. Someone won't always be around to protect you. You've got to think about Rosemary and yourself. Make wise decisions. Can we do that?" Doctor Welsh cocked an eyebrow, frowning.

"Yes. I promise, I know. I'm sorry." I sighed and pushed myself off the bed, grabbing John's hand. He helped me onto my feet.

"Don't worry, Doctor Welsh. I'll try my best to make sure she's not overdoing it," John said.

"I'll take your word for it. Hopefully, there's a lot of nutrition involved in her diet too. Don't make me have to give you two more pamphlets and instructions. I don't want to have to treat you both like children again," she scolded.

"Haha, no. The pamphlets won't be needed." John chuckled nervously. I quickly nodded my head in agreement.

It was hard to digest her words. I could only stare at the ground as she spoke. It was as if my mother was in the room, scolding me, as the parent-child relationship we'd shared had always gone. It was exactly what Doctor Welsh's words reminded me of.

She smiled again, taking slow steps towards the door. "Okay, you two wait right here. I need to print some more prescriptions out and give you some more stuff for Rosemary, then you can be on your way."

"All right." John and I both nodded.

* * *

"Wow," I murmured under my breath.

Rosemary's sonogram caused something inside my chest to stir. I'd managed to get my hands on five sonogram photos. Two for John and myself, another for my parents, one for his parents, and one for someone else. All it took was seeing her to remind us that this was happening. There was no going back.

"Are we still going to take one to Cory's grave?" John asked.

I took in a deep breath, biting on my tongue. You've come too far to get emotional now, I reminded myself. I let out the breath I was holding and let my tongue loose.