He chuckled and finally looked at me. "Why not? Y/N you are the most amazing girl I have ever met. You make me laugh, you see the good in everyone, you are so beautiful, kind, optimistic and hilarious. And I hope..." He pauses, "I hope you can be mine. "
I shrug, hesitating. "I don't know what I want right now."
"I know that, and I respect that, but you don't know how much I want you. And how much I want you to want me. It's killing me, Y/N, it really is."
"But I have lied to you."
Jonah looks straight into my eyes, unwavering, tilting his head as he replys. "I don't think you had a choice. Did you hear what Logan was saying about you? If you didn't lie, it would only make things worse. In a way, lying showed that you trusted me."
"But do you trust me?"
Despite the tears silently running down my face, Jonah Scoffed. "I can't imagine not trusting you. I love you. And you can push me away and forget about me, but I will never forget about you. Ever."
I cringed, "Jonah you have to listen to me."
"I will always listen to you."
"No. Jonah... I realize you have feelings for me. And I am truly flattered, I promise. But it's just that... you and me, Jonah, we're not..."
He finished the sentence that I couldn't finish myself. "We're not compatible, I get it. But that's the same excuse you've used since you met any guy. But seriously, does that even matter? Can't we just let this happen, me and you, and be okay with that?"
"Ugh, you don't understand! You and your friends- that's what you should be focusing on. Not some freak like me!"
"I love my friends, they're the ones who told me to talk to you! I want you."
I pressed my palms against my eyes. "Please don't want me, it just makes everything worse."
He shook his head adamantly "I get it, you're under a lot of stress, but I can help you! Why won't you accept me? Back at Corbyn's party, I know you almost kissed me. We both noticed that. What's changed since then?"
"Everything."
"No. Y/N, look at me."
I turned further away, shivering behind my hair.
"Look at me"
The convincing tone in his voice got to me. I turned, finding him a breath away. I was dying, to close was the space between us, but I couldn't. His russet brown eyes were filled with tears, making me cry harder. I saw the passion and the sadness in his face. I was hurting him.
"Jonah, I am so sorry." I buried my face into his shoulder. I felt his arms wrap around me, but I couldn't take it. I pulled away.
"Y/N why are you so afraid of this? Why won't you let yourself feel?"
I shook my head. "I-I... I don't w-want to get hurt."
Jonah's eyes widened, "You think... Y/N I would never want to hurt you. Ever. Please trust me."
"I do. More than you could ever imagine. It's just...."
He takes my face into his hands, turning me towards him. It took everything in me not to kiss him. Then his lips brushed against mine, and I couldn't help but smile.
"Do you want this?"he asked me. I could only nod. He smiled.
"Please don't run any longer."
And then we were kissing. For a second I just sat there, but I acted quickly. My hands found his shoulders, rubbing my hands up and down, feeling his muscles flex as his arms wrapped around me once more. He grabbed my waist and lifted me onto his lap/ His kiss was soft and gentle, then got more passionate as the seconds ticked on. I seemed to melt into him. He smiled against my lips, and I pulled away.
"Was that okay" he questioned as I leaned against him, tears streaking down my face.
"Yes," I gulped "Yes."
"Good."
I kissed his neck, and he wiped the tears off of my cheeks. He grinned, pulling me close and stroking my hair. I realized what the aching had been all along. This was what I was dying for. I had always wanted Jonah, but I didn't rust myself.
"I've always loved you Jonah," I managed to whisper tentatively.
"I know."
"Please don't be mad."
He looked at me with an amused expression, leaning in again and pressing my forehead to his.
"I could never be happier," he said as he pressed our lips together.
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