Suicide(Sequel to Suicidal Cameron Dallas Fanfic)

Chapter Five

I woke up to an empty
spot next to me, where Cameron is supposed to be. I get up and smell bacon cooking. I walk into the kitchen and see Cameron cooking the bacon in a pan. I go over to him and hug him from behind. "Why do you think your going to go back to your old ways",he asks. Before I can answer I run to the bathroom and throw up. Morning sickness is kicking my ass. As I throw up Cameron rubs my back. Once I'm done I brush my teeth and go back to the kitchen. Cameron serves me the food and gets himself so,too. We sit at the table and eat. "So can you answer the question", he asks. "I don't know. It was just a thought",I say not being completely honest. He nods and we finish are breakfast. "So what are you doing today", I ask him. "I have to go to Carters apartment, and help him move some of his furniture in. But that's really it.", he says. I nod. "What are you doing today", he asks me. I shrug. "Probably nothing",I say. He nods. Once we finish eating I take the plates and wash them. He kisses my cheek and starts walking to the door. "Please be careful today. Whatever your doing today. Just be careful. Okay?", he asks. "Okay. But what do you mean?", I ask. "I just don't want you hurting yourself your carrying another human". "I know babe. You be careful and tell Carter I said hi.",I say. We exchange I love you's and he leaves. Now I am alone. Well I need to take a shower. I get into the bathroom and get a towel from the closet. I lift a towel up and something falls out of it onto the floor. I look down and see the metal pleasure of mine. Razors. I pick them up and find a place to hide them. I put them in my makeup bag. I undress and look in the mirror wanting to cringe. My hideous scars mark my skin. My skinny stomach filled with marks from my parents, and myself. My obese thighs that I can't stand. Then, my face. Ugh. I'm afraid if I look longer the glass will shatter so I look away and get into the shower.
Once I got out of the shower, I got dressed in skinny jeans and and a flannel shirt. I leave it unbuttoned at the top. I then put on my combat boots. I want to go walk around LA it's been to long since I've done so. As I walk around I realize how many memories of this place has marked on it. I walk past my high school and the memories flood in. From when I first walked threw those doors on my senior year. To when I dropped out after I had enough of the shit that was going on in there. The shooting. The fights. Slamming of the collisions of me hitting a locker. The cries. Everything just behind a few doors. I didn't notice I was crying until I felt the tears hit my arm. I start to walk away from the school and make my way home. The way back was uneventful. When I get To home I unlock the door then relics. I sit on the couch and think. Which I haven't done in a while. I think back to when the voices in my head told me to cut myself,and not to eat. And them telling me I'm not good enough. Or that I will never be good enough. I will never be good enough. "I will never be good enough." I kept repeating. "I will never be good enough, I will never be good enough.
"Duh of corse you won't be", the voices spoke
"Your worthless"
"Your not enough"
They kept repeating in my head over and over again. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD", I yell. Hitting my head with my fists "GET OUT" I start crying. "Get out", I start to plead. Cameron walks in. "Get out of my head", a pleading whisper comes out. Tears pouring down my face. I am still whispering get out of my head. Cameron rushes over to me and picks me up, and takes us to our room and puts me in our bed. "Get out of my head",I say outing my hands over my ears. "Get out, get out". "Sadie...please talk to me", Cameron says. "Get out of my head"
Cameron's POV
"Get out of my head". Is all I hear her say. She is going back to her ways. "Sadie what's in your head",I ask. "The voices. Please help me", she pleads. I pick her up and lay her under the covers and help her fall asleep. She falls asleep with tears in her eyes. The voices are back. I can't believe this. I put my hand over her stomach where our baby lives. I can't wait to have this little pride of joy. I just hope Sadie can keep her sanity.