Fuck You and Jenna

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In a relationship, especially when it's serious, you make promises: don't fall asleep angry at each other, communicate your problems, don't cheat. I thought Tyler, of all people, would be able to keep those promises. I guess life is crazy though.

Listen, no we don't need to be enemies

Ain't got tunnel vision

I was gay. Tyler was bisexual. My friends would ask if it bothered me. It didn't. The stereotype that bisexual people were unfaithful was just that. A stereotype. It fit a few people, but not all. Not Tyler. Tyler was honest and loyal. He showered me in affection and treated me like a prince. We knew each other in and now. How to make each other laugh. How to make each other melt. How to make each other cum. It felt perfect.

V ision of us in the future with a

White picket fence and eternal decisions

I almost did it, glad that I didn't

I started getting suspicious around 7 months into our relationship. Space cakes and a Big Mac His phone was buzzing a lot. He said it was his mom, sometimes one of his brothers; his mom was protective and his brothers were annoying. I'd met them before. It made sense. I let it go.

I'm a space case but I'm sure that

All my friends fake 'cause they told me that

Shit wasn't real, it was all in my head

He was studying a lot more. I mean, it was senior year. He was in two AP classes and we were getting ready for college. I let him be when he said he was studying for a few hours and needed quiet. He couldn't study without silence; he was easily distracted. It made sense. I let it go.

I imagined that, false spark

Saw them hand and hand standing outside of a Wal-Mart

Now I'm sitting here wondering when did this all start

He asked me to come to his house less often as I used to. "Lets just go to your house instead." he would say. "My mom doesn't want people over today." he would explain. One day, he finally let something slip. "My family can't know about us. I don't want them getting suspicious." he said. I understood that; his family was Christiand and they couldn't know he was with a boy. It made sense. I let it go.

Fuck you and Jennifer,

I know that you're out with her

Go pretend that you're just friends

I'll pretend that I'm not hurt

He smelled sweeter. Floral but slightly, just slightly, fruity. Perfume. It was faint, but it wasn't too hard to detect considering I knew exactly what his cologne smelled like. I asked him what it was. "Madison made me drive her to the mall yesterday. She made me go to Victoria's Secret with her. I can't wash off whatever she sprayed on me." He explained. It was understandable; she made him take her to the mall all the time. It made sense. I let it go.

I know all the shit I heard,

you can take these bitter words

Fuck you and Jennifer

Go fucking make love to her

The sex was rougher. It used to be slow, soft, intimate. We would make love. Now it was fast, rough, unstable. Now we were just fucking. It was almost painful, mentally and physically. He'd fuck me into the mattress, degrade me. We were never like that before. "I just saw some things online. I thought maybe it was something we could try out." He said, still with post-orgasm heavy breathing. I nodded in response. It was fine to me; everyone has their secret fantasies. It made sense. I let it go.

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 24, 2019 ⏰

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