How Can You Tell? (Neville Longbottom)

Oh no she did not.

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  Hermione had her hand up for such a while that Umbridge simply couldn't ignore it any longer.

" Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?" Umbridge asked Hermione.

"Nothing about the chapter, no" Said Hermione

"Well we're reading just now, if you have any other queries we can deal with them after class."

"I've got a question about your course aims." Hermione stated.

Umbridge raised her eyebrows in shock.

"And your name is---?"

"Hermione Granger"

"Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully." Umbridge replied is the fakest sweet voice.

"Well, I don't." Hermione replied bluntly. "There is nothing up there about using defensive spells."

It went silent for a few moments. It was so quiet, that you could almost hear yourself blink.

"Using defensive spells?" She repeated with a laugh of mockery. "Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"

"We're not going to use magic?" Ron exclaimed loudly.

"Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class, Mr.

"Weasley," said Ron, thrusting his hand into the air.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" She addressed Hermione this time. "You wanted to ask something else?"

"Yes," said Hermione. "Surely the whole point of Defense Against the Dark Arts is to practice defensive spells?"

"Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Granger?" asked Professor Umbridge.

"No, but -"

"Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decide what the 'whole point' of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than you have devised our new program of study."

"What use is that?" said Harry loudly. "If we're going to be attacked, it won't be in a -"

"Hand, Mr. Potter!" sang Professor Umbridge.

"And your name is?" Professor Umbridge said to Dean.

"Dean Thomas."

"Well, Mr. Thomas?"

"Well, it's like Harry said, isn't it?" said Dean. "If we're going to be attacked, it won't be risk free."

"I repeat," said Professor Umbridge, smiling in a very irritating fashion at Dean, "do you expect to be attacked during my classes?"

"No, but -"

Professor Umbridge talked over him. "I do not wish to criticize the way things have been run in this school: But you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed - not to mention," she gave a nasty little laugh, "extremely dangerous half-breeds."

"If you mean Professor Lupin" Dean began angrily "he was the best we ever--"

"HAND Mr Thomas! As I was saying... you have been introduced to spells that have been complex, inappropriate to your age group, and potentially lethal. You have been frightened into believing that you are likely to meet Dark attacks every other day---"

"No we haven't," Hermione said, "we just -"

"Your hand is not up, Miss Granger!"

"It is my understanding that my predecessor not only performed illegal curses in front of you, he actually performed them on you."

"Well, he turned out to be a maniac, didn't he?" said Dean hotly.

"Mind you, we still learned loads."

"Your hand is not up, Mr. Thomas!" trilled Professor Umbridge.

"Now, it is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be more than sufficient to get you through your l.P., which, after all, is what school is all about. And your name is?" she added, staring at Parvati, whose hand had just shot up.

"Parvati Patil, and isn't there a practical bit in our Defense Against the Dark Arts OWL? Aren't we supposed to show that we can actually do the counter-curses and things?"

"As long as you have studied the theory hard enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under carefully controlled examination conditions," said Professor Umbridge dismissively.

"Without ever practicing them beforehand?" said Parvati incredulously. "Are you telling us that the first time we'll get to do the spells will be during our exam?"

"I repeat, as long as you have studied the theory hard enough -"

"And what good's theory going to be in the real world?" said Harry loudly, and I looked at him.

"This is school, Mr. Potter, not the real world," Umbridge said softly.

"So we're not supposed to be prepared for what's waiting for us out there?"

"There is nothing waiting out there, Mr. Potter."

"Oh yeah?"

"Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourselves?" enquired Professor Umbridge, giving a sweet laugh

"Hmm, let's think..." said Harry in a mock thoughtful voice. "Maybe... Lord Voldemort!"

"He's right! Harry saw him, he fought him!" I shouted.

"DETENTION POTTER AND..."

"O-O'leary, Mary O'leary." I whispered. I fell off of my stool with a thud. The last thing I saw was Hermione and Neville above me looking down at me.