Chapter-1

Chapter Part 2

"Are you nervous" my aunt Cynthia asks. She is driving us to the school. I wish I could take my own car but unfortunately I don't have one and even if I did I don't know how to drive. I don't know who she is asking the question to but I know that Ava is not going to answer and I don't want to answer. There is silence as we trudge along the road. "Evaline are you nervous?" I don't know what to tell her. I mean I could tell her the truth but what is the truth? Am I nervous about school or about myself?

"No I'm fine. It's just the first day nerves but it's nothing really".

"Well just remember that you girls are great and everyone will love you. Just be yourself". I get this urge to ask her "But who am I really? Who is Evaline?" but I don't because if I don't know the answer then no one does. I look out the window and I can see people walking down the street towards to school. I see some people walking in groups, some walking with headphones on and some even walking all alone quietly. I know exactly which category I would belong to. I look at Ava and she has no expression on her face. Her golden blond her are glistening in the sun and they look even prettier. She is looking out the window and is not moving a muscle. I try to imagine what she's thinking but I can't.

I miss the days when I would be able to understand her just by looking at the back of his head. I knew her better than anyone, better than herself. Now I don't even know who I am. I wish things went back to normal but I've been living like this for so long that I don't even remember what normal really is. I want to hear her voice. I want her to say something to me, no matter what it is.

"You got your timetable?" I ask her. I look at her but she doesn't even turn her head. She doesn't even recognize the fact that I said something. It's like I'm non-existent. I wait for a moment hoping to get some kind of indication from her that she recognizes my existence but she doesn't.

We pull up to the school and Aunt Cynthia brings the car to a halt. "I'll meet you guys' right here after your school. Have a great day and..." Before she can complete her sentence Ava is out of the door without as much as giving a look back at the car. I see her walking down towards the school. I worry about her. I wish I could do something to help her. I wish she talked to me. "Don't worry Aunt Cynthia, I will take care of her. I'll see you after school" I say and get out of the car.

I stand in front of the school afraid to move forward. I look around me and people are passing by in a hurry laughing and talking. There are too many voices around me. Breathe, I say to myself. Just breathe. It'll be okay. Some people push by me as they walk in. "Don't just stand there like an Idiot. Move your ass inside" I say some people telling me but I don't care. I am not ready to take this step forward. For a moment I think about running away. Just running away from everyone and everything and fall into the abyss of my mind, give in to the darkness. If only it was that easy. I take a long breath again. It's almost as if I think if I breathe enough air I will be able to fill it all inside me and fly away from here. I look around and the people are still flooding in. "It's going to be okay" I say to myself and step forward.

Inside the school it's worse than I had imagined. There are people everywhere, in every corner of the corridor. It's hard to walk two steps without bumping into someone. Some people are standing by their lockers talking and laughing, others are running around to get to their classes. There are people making out and also people who are being bullied. I see a bunch of freshmen hoping like frogs and a few senior walking behind them telling them to hop faster. Thank God I'm not a freshmen or I would've died just by the thought of it. Although I think new students are treated just as badly as juniors. I wish they aren't.

I somehow make my way to the locker and put my books in. I take out my time table to check out where my class is. This school is bigger than my previous school. In the previous school it was easier to locate classes because there were only so many of them. Locating classes here seems like nightmare to me. And it's not like I'm going to ask someone for directions. I would die before I do that.