𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 - 𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 {𝟐}

Part 3

Y/N'S POV

I feel like my whole body weighs a thousand pounds like someone is just sitting on top of me and they keep holding me down. I can't open my eyes, I'm trying so hard, but they won't open. What is going on? I try to move at least something on my body, but it's like I'm frozen. I can hear myself talking, but my mouth's not moving. The only thing I can hear is my thoughts, like right now. I try harder and harder to at least try to do something, but nothing's happening. Internally I'm thrashing around, but physically I feel still. I run out of energy...well I don't even know if I did anything, but I give up. It's no use, no one can hear me. I listen to see if I can hear anything and as time goes on a hear a slight beep. It's not consistent, but it happens every few seconds and it's very faint. I listen closer and it starts happening more and it becomes louder. What is that? It gets louder and louder and louder. It gets to the point where's it's almost blasting my ears out. I cover my ears with my hands and squeeze my eyes shut, but the sound passes through my hands and pierces my eardrums. It's getting faster and faster and louder and louder. I scream loudly to try to mask the sound and then.....bam....my eyes shoot open and I start to panic. I pop my head up and look around the room frantically. Someone grabs the side of my face to force me to look at them. It's my Mom and she's trying to calm me down. My eyes are wild and I hear that beeping sound again and I look to my right to see it's the heart monitor. It's beeping rapidly, but my Mom directs my attention back to her,

"Shh, shh, you're okay.", she says and I look at her, my eyes wide. She wraps her arms around me, but I sit there not processing what's going on. I hear the door open and my head snaps towards it. A lady and a man walk in and the man smiles at me,

"Well hello there Y/n.", he smiles. I frown at the man confused as he walks around the bed to my side. My mom moves away as the lady comes to my other side and takes my arm. I notice things that are in my skin and she goes up to the bag that's hanging on a rack and adjusts something. Wait is that blood?

"How are you feeling today?", the man asks. I just look over at him and I don't respond, "I'm Doctor Miller and I'm going to take care of you. It's finally nice to meet you.", he says, "You woke up earlier than I expected.", he says,

"How long?", I ask my voice barely above a whisper,

"Almost two days.", he says, "Open your eyes wide.", he says as he takes something out of his coat pocket and he presses a button and a light turns on at the end of it. I do what he says and he shines the light in both of my eyes. I was gone for 2 days? It felt like I was gone for like 5 minutes. Then I remember my Dad,

"Where's my Dad?", I ask frantically. I try to sit up, but pain shoots through me from my side and I hiss,

"Woah slow down there, you aren't healed yet.", he says,

"Martha can you please check it.", he says to the lady. I look over at her and she lifts the hospital gown a little bit. I turn my attention away from her and look back at Doctor Miller,

"Where's my Dad?", I ask again. He looks at me and sighs,

"You're Dad is in a coma right now.", he says,

"Is he going to wake up?", I ask. He glances at my Mom and I look over at her,

"Honey listen, your Dad got really beat up during the crash. He has bleeding in his brain, and I want to be honest with you, but it would be a miracle if he woke up.", she says and I swallow hard,

"But there's a chance he can still wake up right?", I ask and look at Doctor Miller,

"I mean, sure, but right now he's pretty much living on life support and if he did wake up, he wouldn't be the same.", he says and I feel my breath get caught in my throat,

"No that's not true, he has to wake up, he has to. My Dad can't die.", I say to him and I feel my eyes get glossy. He looks away from me and pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers. A painful sting comes from my side and my head snaps over to Martha. I look at my side and there's a gash with stitches that's on my side,

"Sorry.", she apologizes. I don't respond to her and I just stare at the wound. I take in a shaky breath and a single tear falls down my face. I cover my mouth with my hand and I start to cry as I look at the gash that will always remind me, of that night when I killed my Dad.

I haven't been talkative at all. I've barely said a word. The only thing that keeps going through my head is, "My Dad is dead, it's my fault. My Dad is dead, it's my fault...", it repeats over and over again and every time it pains me more,

"Kora and Dawson miss you.", my Mom says. She's been trying to start a conversation with me for a while now, but I just don't want to speak to anyone. She sighs and looks down when I don't respond,

"He's not dead Y/n.", she says and I look over at her,

"He is. He's in a coma that he's never gonna wake up from.", I finally speak,

"He could you-", but I interrupt her,

"He's not gonna wake up, okay?! And it's my fault!", I say loudly and sit forward, but my side starts to hurt again and I hiss and fall back down. I look up at the ceiling and feel tears well up in my eyes for the millionth time. I feel her grab my hand and give it a gentle squeeze. I hear the sound of the door open and I look towards it. I see Lily's head pop in and she gives me a smile. She enters the room and Jack appears behind her,

"Are we allowed to come in?", she asks. I give a small nod and they both come closer. I can tell she's been crying. Her eyes are still a little puffy and she looks exhausted,

"I'll leave so-", my Mom starts to stand up, but she stops her,

"No, no, no, you can stay if you want.", Lily says to her,

"Oh no it's okay, you guys should have some time with her.", she says. Lily smiles kindly at her and my Mom exits the room. Lily and Jack look back over at me and Lily look at me before she slowly starts to cry. She runs up to me and carefully wraps her arms around me,

"Lily be careful.", Jack says. She cries into my shoulder and I hug her back,

"I was so worried about you.", she sniffs and pulls away. She sits down in the chair my mom was sitting in and Jack comes up to me. He gives me and hugs and I hug him back. He pulls up another chair and sets it next to Lily,

"How long have you guys been here?", I ask,

"Since that night.", Jack says,

"You've been here that long? Please tell me you haven't been here all the time.", I say instantly feeling bad,

"We have a hotel, but we've been coming every day then we leave later at night.", Lily says while wiping the tears from under her eyes,

"Guys you shouldn't of.", I say,

"Y/n we were worried sick about you. We could've lost you, we wanted to be here for you.", she says and grabs my hand. I give them a slight smile and look down,

"But how have you been?", Jack asks,

"I don't wanna talk about it.", I say quietly. I don't want to express my feelings because I don't want more pain than I'm already dealing with,

"Has there been any news about him?", she asks,

"He's gonna die because of me.", I say and lookup. They both are taken back by my response, but they shake their heads,

"No Y/n he's not gonna die because of you.", Jack says,

"He's strong, he's gonna get through this.", Lily says. I sigh and shake my head. 

I look to the side out the window that's on the other side of the room. I'm getting really tired of people saying that he's not gonna die and it's not my fault. What do people not get? He's in a coma that he's not gonna wake up from. I was the one who had a mental break down and crashed the car. I was driving not him. Like Doctor Miller said it would be a miracle if he woke up and on the path, I'm on right now, God doesn't want to give me that...