comfort | sean and kaycee.

first time II.

kaycee soon learned that regardless of whether or not she was comfortable with it, people couldn't, and wouldn't, keep a secret. once they had told their parents, who were nothing but sweet, protective, and proud, the news spread as quickly as kaycee's apprehension grew.

text messages assaulted her phone: from tahani's 'I FRICKING TOLD YOU SOOO AAAAAAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU BAEEEE' to tricia's 'if he hurts you, just tell me haha love you munch!'  to even joshua's gag-inducing 'don't worry i told him to use protection lol'. she was stuck in hours worth of face-time calls, explaining the situation to certain friends she felt were trustworthy enough to entertain with her story. her mother and sister pestered her daily; her father and brother pestered sean whenever he visited, which admittedly, was daily as well. one night, she had to sit down and endure her mother's lecture about teenage boys and hormones that she could have gone her entire life without.

deep down, she recognized all of it as loving support, and she was grateful. but regardless, it felt like too much. it made her uneasy and nervous, for it was strange to let other people know. it was as if her heart was laid out for the eyes of the world to look at; she felt raw, exposed, open to unwelcome criticism and judgement. aside from the few exceptions of her family and sean, secrecy was a shield against what was unfamiliar and far away, and now that had been shattered.

everyone, everyone knew how she truly felt and it was absolutely mortifying.

but it was in kaycee's optimistic nature to search for a silver lining, and just like that pivotal airplane flight months ago, she soon discovered this lining was closely related to that.

the publicity offered her and sean certain freedoms.

the two could be out together without using work, dance, or youtube as an excuse. sean could pull up to her house and plop on her bed for hugs without a second thought. he could make her baked goods and gifts that were as sweet as he was (which he's done), and she could make him playlists and paintings of dumb love songs and quotes (which she's done). they could go on dates whenever, for fun, and no one would question them in the way they'd question when they were friends. neither of them were particularly up for PDA aside from holding hands and a resting hug, but when they were alone in a room together, the unabashed, innocent affections the two showered each other in was, by far, the most fun part about it.

the bubble made of their mutual indifference to everyone else had enveloped the two once again, just like the flight. there was no fear when they were together, so long as they were alone or among strangers. no fear, no worry, no care about anything except each other.

it was freeing and unlike anything kaycee had ever felt before. she loved the feeling, though not as much as she loved him (though kaycee felt that word was too grown-up to describe their budding relationship), and she was sure he could say the same. why else would he push and plan for date after date after date?

so sean plan's for a second date in one week (ten in total since their first date two months ago; kaycee kept count) was not uncharacteristic at all, though his demeanor while planning was strangely more cryptic.

it went like this:

[kaycee's phone]
august 5 12:05 pm

Sean🥰
hola

Hi! ☺️

Sean🥰
are you ready for another date
with the best person ever

Would it be rude to say we've had too many?

Sean🥰
whoa that's not the positivity of kaycee rice speaking