Writer's Recipe vol. 4 (2019)

PLATONIC LOVE

Written by : Nurul Hidayah binti Othman

My name is Hazel, a 17 year old Australian who had moved to Malaysia because my mother had transferred here a couple of years ago. My parents were divorced when I was seven years old. Since my mother was really busy with her job and had no time for me, I was enrolled into an elite boarding school in Shah Alam. It was there that I met Geena. It was also where I met him - my first love.

January 2018

It was my first day in Puteri International School. Everything was going well. The school was what I had expected from an elite school. What immediately attracted me the most was the library, which was a 3 storey building on its own, and a shady garden in front of it. In class Geena, a cheerful looking girl offered me to sit beside her.

During the first week there, I noticed a boy who kept stealing glances at me. Geena told me he was a notorious student and I shouldn't get anywhere near him. His name was Aiman. During recess, everyone was going to the canteen but I decided to stay in the class and engage in my favourite pastime – reading a novel. Out of the blue, I heard footsteps coming towards me.

"Here you go," I heard a charming voice. He put a bread on my table. I lifted my head and our eyes met for the first time. He had a mesmerising smile.

"Don't worry, it's my treat," he continued. "I'm Aiman by the way. What's your name?"

"Hazel," I answered briefly and turned back to my book. Sensing that I was not interested in furthering the conversation, Aiman went back to his class.

After the school, a few students stayed in class to finish their homework, so I thought I should too. Over time, people started to leave the class one by one. I didn't realise it but in the end only another person was left in the class with me. You guessed it – Aiman.

"Looks like it's just the two of us left. Mind if I walk you back to the hostel?"

"Sure," I said after a short pause. I didn't want to be rude.

There was an awkward silence between us along the way until Aiman started asking me about my life. Surprisingly I didn't hesitate to tell him about it at all. I told him everything - about my parents' divorce, my workaholic mom, and even why I end up in this school. It was weird because I didn't shy away about it at all. For some mysterious reasons, I felt absolutely safe and calm with him. It was the beginning of our friendship. As time passed, I began to spend more and more time with him but remained to be nothing more than just friends. Geena warned me about it but I thought that she was just jealous of me.

February 2019

Aiman told me to meet him at the garden tonight! He said he had something important to tell me. And tonight of all nights! Was he finally going to confess his feelings towards me? Feeling curious and excited, I made sure to wear my best attire. Well, the best that I could wear while still adhering to the school rules anyways.

My roommate Geena gave me a look of concern. "I know I've told you this before, but please believe me: That boy is a womaniser," she said.

I tried my best to ignore her.

"He'll dump you as soon as he's bored with you. Like he's done to so many other girls," Geena raised her voice in desperation.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. We had a huge argument before I stormed out from the room. I couldn't believe she would ruin my mood on this momentous day.

When I arrived at the garden, I could see Aiman standing alone under the biggest three in the middle of the garden. When I approached him, he revealed a bouquet of red roses and a heart-shaped box of chocolates. As soon as I accepted them, he suddenly knelt in front of me.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he said solemnly.

I could feel my cheeks burning and tears of happiness were welling up in my eyes. I answered with a shy nod.

Since that moment, Aiman and I would want to spend so much time together until we sometimes skipped classes just so we could hang out at the library and I would also sneak out during outings even though it wasn't the girls' turn. My studies were clearly affected by all this, but I didn't seem to care as long as Aiman was with me.

June 2018

Aiman asked me to meet him at the garden as usual. He said he had something important to say. I could tell from his face that it was not good news. Did our misbehaviours finally caught the attention of the disciplinary teachers? Did his parents find out? I was restless for the entire day.

Arriving at the garden, I saw Aiman from afar, sitting on the bench where we always sat together. But there was another person beside him. Another girl. My brows creased. What was going on?

"Let's break up. I don't love you anymore," he said with a straight face.

I wanted to slap his face but I controlled myself. I ran away. I couldn't bear to see his face again. Tears were streaming down my face. I needed a shoulder to cry on, but I couldn't possibly go to Geena - not after what I said to her. Fortunately, she wasn't in the room, so locked myself inside the room and cried my heart out.

When Geena came back, she saw my puffy eyes and immediately understood what had happened.

"Oh, you poor girl," she said as she hugged me. "I tried to warn you."

"I know, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you." We were both crying in each other's embrace.

From that moment, I realised that most of the time, our true and sincere friends always want the best for us, but sometimes we might be too blinded by what we thought was love until it clouds our judgement. I promised myself that I would never again betray the trust of all my friends like Geena who are sincere with me.