Torn heart

Lonely bird

My keys rattled as i pulled them out of my pocket. I carefully locked up the front door, trying not to wake Angela up. I took a slow step into the house and put my keys away in a little porcelain bowl. I took off my coat and walked towards the bedroom. I could see Angela turning around, stretching and yawning. I took off my clothes and sat down on the bed. I started thinking, Grace wouldn't leave my head. I hated myself for it, but i wished I was with her and not with my own wife. After a few minutes I laid down and stared on Angelas sleeping face. She looked so peaceful.

"Where were you?" Angela looked at me with tired eyes. I stroked her lips and smiled, "pub" I said quickly. Angela raised an  eyebrow, "Again?" She said. I looked at her and nodded, trying to avoid eye contact. "Do you want anything for breakfast?" I asked, trying to change the subject of our conversation. Angela shook her head, "no, we need to talk" she said. She looked down and for a minute she was completely quiet. "What?" I said, i was hoping that this was not about me being away the last couple of nights, but a tiny voice inside med said that it was excactly what we where going to talk about.

"I've missed you" she said with a dark voice. I could tell she was holding back something, but i didn't want to ask. "I am sorry, but i thought you just wanted to sleep" i lied, and it was obvious. I tried hiding it with a smile, but it turned in to an awkard frown. "Bullshit!" She said fiercely. "Are you seeing someone" It wasn't a question it was more of a statement. I avoided looking at her. I knew that she knew and i was terrified. I suddendly regretted everything. I felt horrible, i should never have spoken to Grace. I should have walked straight home as soon as she offered me a drink. What did i even think? I had the love of my life waiting at home for me, I was greedy and selfish.

"Yes, but not in the way you think" i stuttered. I held back my tears, i tried to come up with some sort of story. Angela rolled her eyes. She was angry and she had every right to be. "It's work related" i said. I worked as a doctor so anything about my job was confidential. Even though I was lying, i could easily hide it by telling her that she can't know. "In what way?" She asked. It seemed as if she slowly calmed down. "There, there is this patient that is very hard to handle. We needed to have a small meeting about it, sorry." Angela was silent for a while, she took a deep breath. "It's okay". Her words were empty. "I guess i can take that breakfast now" she chuckled awkardly. I nodded and smiled as i headed to the kitchen. I had just put another layer of icing on a shitcake.