I See Through Your Eyes

8. A Step Back

Although Erik had dreamed about it, that kiss was unexpected, still not sure it had truly happened. Erik couldn't avoid smiling every time he remembered it. He had settled his mind on the idea that love was no longer possible for him, but that night had rekindled hope and Alex was the reason for that.
But it felt that the night hadn't ended as well. A little bit after the kiss, Alex took Erik's hands off her face and held them down, and sat slightly further away as if to put some distance in between them.

Is everything okay?

Yes, don't want you to be sick as well.

Her tone of voice did not transpire that. There was something more but Erik thought it was best not push it then, possibly ruining that lovely moment. Could it be that kiss hadn't been good? No one had ever complained but, again, it had been a while since he had kissed someone. Maybe he could ask Alex about it, get her opinion. Erik couldn't hide the embarrassment of such thoughts. He sounded like an insecure teenager who had finally gotten some action with his crush, and it felt absurd. He shook his head to scatter such ideas and get back to reality. Erik wanted to call Alex right the next day but was afraid it would seem desperate. Who was he kidding? He wanted to do it terribly and whatever happened he could with afterwards. After a lot of placing back and forward in his kitchen, he finally mustered the strength to call her. The phone kept ringing until it went to voicemail. She was at work, which was a really good reason not to pick up. Erik realised he hadn't thought through that well, might as well leave a message.

"Hey, it's Erik. How are you feeling? Wanted to make sure the soup helped." He took a second to think about what to say next. "Could we meet for coffee? I want to talk to you. Call me when you can."

All he could now was wait for Alex to call back. Maybe focusing on work was the best option.

================================================================================

It was time to talk to Mia. Alex had been avoiding it but this was her territory, she knew how to handle this kind of situations, while Alex, on the other hand, was terrible at dealing with emotions. She sent her a text to meet later on for dinner, to which Mia replied about dinner at her place, as expected. It was time to talk to the expert.

Alex closed her eyes and leaned against her office chair, taking a break before focusing on work. His plump lips were the first to pop in her mind, his taste in her mouth. She could feel his stubble on her skin when she kissed him back; when her hand touched his face before moving on to the neck. The feeling of his hands on her body was so surreal it was scary. The feeling of his hands on her body was so surreal it was scary. And the worst part was that she enjoyed it and she couldn't deny it. Erik had become someone special in her life and that night proved he was a man. Not that it was ever doubted, but now she could see him as being beside someone. Beside her. She opened her eyes. Beside another girl, maybe. It was best for her not to daydream. After everything, she didn't believe she deserved that love. Erik was an amazing guy who deserved someone who would focus solely on him. Mia was going to throw a fit once Alex told her this. Mia was the romantic one, everything was sparkly and cheerful.

The mental turmoil was interrupted by her phone ringtone. On the screen, it showed Erik's phone number. Alex bit her lip as she felt a nervous tingle in her stomach. Really? That's all that came to her mind at that moment. She chose not to pick up and not to hang up either. Alex needed to settle her thoughts before talking to Erik, making sure she wouldn't say anything that could hurt their relationship.

No other day had moved as slowly as this day, and although Alex tried to focus on work, her mind kept running to what was coming. Finally, she decided it was best to leave earlier than to keep making mistakes due to lack of attention. Alex eagerly rushed to the car and drove away, making the tires squeak in the indoor parking asphalt. She seemed like a maniac driving, but her mind was going crazy with all the overthinking. Alex stood outside Mia's house, feeling anxious.
She had barely rung the doorbell when Mia swung the door open and pushed Alex inside.