stardust | park seonghwa ✓

05

FROM where I stood, I can see Yeosang looking at me, clearly unimpressed and I can tell why. I know it's past half an hour since his class ended and I must've gotten carried away with hanging out with Seonghwa, but I mean, did I really go out for that long for him to shoot me with the daggers in his eyes?

"Where were you?" he asks, eyeing me suspiciously when I get to the roastery with my paper bag of stationery.

Shrugging, I shake off his stare. "Oh, nowhere," I answer before flashing him a smile.

"What's in that?"

"Pens and books and shit," I answer him, "what are we getting?" I ask, looking through the menu card.

Gasping, Yeosang almost slams his hands on the desk, looking at me wide eyed and causing me to flinch at his sudden move. "Were you with a guy?" he gapes, "please don't tell me it's Jung Wooyou- wait, you have no other guy friends though."

"Wooooooooooooowww," I groan, dragging the word longer than it should.

"Were you hunting for photoshoot locations again?" he attempts to ask again.

"I wish I had the time, honestly," I sigh, letting my cheek rest on the warmth of my palm and letting my eyes roam the room.

They rest on a particular table near the back of the shop and I'm instantly reminded of yesterday. A slight tingle tickles the back of my shoulder blade and as I furrow my brows, a small trigger releases and somehow, with my own eyes I see myself and the two other figures I was with yesterday in a faint shadowy silhouette.

I shake my head quickly and blink rapidly in shock, fishing myself out from that ... whatever that was. Yeosang, who had been watching me tilts his head curiously. "You okay, Shin-ah?" he asks, "your eyes were a bit crossed before, you want me to teach you how to cross it properly?" Yeosang proceeds to lift his index finger to be parallel with his eyes before pushing his finger to the middle of his nose bridge.

"No, no, Yeosang I know how to do it!" I quickly pull how his hand from his nose, "it's just..."

The boy in front of me hums, waiting for the next thing I will say.

Honestly, I didn't know how to put this into words. There are so many questions that I want to ask him and I know it's probably a bit too soon but I can't help but think about it, you know? A part of me wants my mind to shut the hell up but on the other end, my curiosity always takes over.

"Come on, I know you want to say something," Yeosang sighs, reaching out for a napkin before folding them out of boredom.

When I still don't say anything, Yeosang nudges my foot lightly with his, telling me to go on and he will not judge for whatever I'll say.

Taking a breath, I finally say, "how did you feel when you got your mark?" whilst drawing little invisible patterns on the wooden table.

It's a pretty sensitive topic when it comes to Yeosang and I could tell by the way he suddenly stiffens in his seat, his fingers hovering over the folded napkin for a split second. Realising my mistake for suddenly burdening my question on him, I quickly shake my hands.

"I mean- I don't- I don't know much about it and -"

"It felt great, to be honest," Yeosang cuts me off, but looking sincere with his words. That makes my mind tangle in confusion.

"Eh?"

"It's weird, yeah?" he asks rhetorically, knowing that I'd say yes, "but I can't lie to you that knowing that I got it, I don't feel lonely as much."

Yeosang pauses for a moment to let a waitress place our orders on our table - two plates of carbonara pasta, a mug of hot pumpkin latté for him and a cup of fresh cappuccino for me. There's a small whiff of silence as the clattering of cutlery sounds as the waitress places them down for us and she leaves with a polite smile, telling us to enjoy our meal.