secret love letters. (Halsey FanFiction)

5.

~
she dragged me to her car and we got in without saying a word. i assumed she was taking me to the café again, but once she passed the café i got confused.
"ash?"
"yes?"
"uh..where are we going?" i asked
"my place" she said simply not taking her eyes off the road.
i made a face but decided not to question her any further.
the ride wasn't too long but we still didn't say a word till we walked into the house.
"so this is my place, ill give you a tour" she said as we walked in
the house was average. nice looking.
she finally led me to her room. "and this is my room" she said "its not much" she said shyly.
"its cute" i said looking around.
she sat on her bed and mentioned me to sit next to her. so i did.
i sat there awkwardly not saying anything.
"why didn't you talk to me before?" she asked
"i dunno.. i guess i was scared." i said shrugging
"you shouldn't have been, you're cute."
i chuckled, somewhat sarcastically, "cute doesn't mean you'd date me." i said
"how do you know i wouldn't date you?" she asked lifting my face, making me look at her.
instantly my body got hot and i felt like i couldn't speak. "oh uh- i, uh-"
she made a face, kinda smirking, she could feel that i was nervous.
she leaned it, i knew what she was trying to do. i panic, and immediately like the idiot i am, i pushed myself back. she made a face but quickly wiped it off her face.
"how about we drink?" she suggested shrugging.
i bit my lip. should i be doing this?
"it'll just be a drink or two, just to calm your nerves." she said
i let out a small, "okay" and she got up and mentioned me to follow, which i did.
is this a bad idea? is she trying to get me to let my guard down? what for?
we walked into her kitchen and she began looking through a cabinet, which eventually she pulled a wine bottle out. she lifted the bottle up and looked at me, "this okay?"
i shrugged, "i don't know much about alcohol so i guess"
"me either" she stated honestly, setting the bottle down "mom says its calms her down though, why not give it a try right?" she said as she began to attempt to open it.
after many failed attempts she finally opened it.
"aha! did it" she exclaimed excitedly.
i chuckled, taking a seat. she grabbed two glasses and set one in front of me. "for you" she said as she poured some into my glass.
i looked at the glass for a second then just gave up. why not? maybe i wont be so nervous.
after a few drinks i felt a little buzzed. "okay i think we should stop drinking" i stated, laughing a bit.
"yeah yeah your right" she said grabbing my glass, placing it in the sink.
"lets go back to my room." she said grabbing my hand once again.
i followed her, tripping over my feet a little, oh no.
we sat down on her bed but she still didn't let go of my hand.
"what are you trying to do?" i asked, bluntly.
she sighed, starring at our hands not looking at me.
"i saw you too."
"what?" i asked
"you said you've seen me since i started at that school, you liked me... i do too" she said slowly, "i saw you too" she said scooting closer to me.
what the fuck wrong with me? this is all i've ever wanted, why am i straying away?
this time she was looking at me, dead in my eyes, she didn't say anything but i could see her slowly leaning in again.
i couldn't take it anymore, i leaned in quickly crashing my lips onto hers, catching her by surprise but she didn't pull away.
just as she tried to get on-top of me the door was swung open.
fucking cockblock.
Ashley quickly pulled away but she was halfway on-top of me still. a lady was at the door with an angry look on her face. Ashley looked scared but she didn't move off of me, nor did her grip on me loosen. the lady looked between us then, looked at me dead in the eye and firmly said, "get out."
i wasted no time getting off of her bed and out her front door.
i heard faint screaming behind me but i ignored it.
i hadn't even realized i was running till i stopped in front of my house.
i looked over at Rowans house, contemplating wether or not i should go over and talked to her.
after a brief moment i decided not too and walked over to my house.
i sighed and walked in, wanting nothing more but to get into bed.
i felt my phone buzzing in my pocket, but ignored it.
i opened the door and a nasty smell filled my nose.
gross. i thought.
once i walked in and stepped into the kitchen, justin made a face. "the fuck are you doing here?" he asked
i scoffed, "i live here asshole."
he rolled his eyes, "well pack your shit and get out."
i rolled my eyes, "shut the fuck up, you cant tell me what i-" i was cut off by my mom. "he's right, get out.."
i looked at her and made a face "what the fuck mom?"
he smirked and kissed my mom on the cheek and walked passed me, shoving me.
my mom then came up to me and grabbed my arm. "don't make this difficult sam. you have your little neighbor friend, stay there. come back in a week, ill cool him down, alright?"
i scoffed, pulling my arm away from her grip harshly. "and you call yourself a mother?" i spat.
she slapped me, then grabbed my face hard. "i said don't be fucking difficult. you don't wanna be here for the things were gonna do, its better if you dont see alright? now, pack your shit and leave." she said letting go of my face roughly, walking past me.
i rubbed my cheek slightly as i walked to my room, it still stung a little.
i grabbed a duffle bag from my closet and packed my clothes and essentials. after packing i grabbed my backpack, a jacket and my duffle bag. i walked quickly down the hallway and out the front door.
i walked over to Rowan's house. i stood at the front door, and let out a huge breath before knocking finally.

it was opened by Rowan. "sam?" she examined my face for a moment the slightly gasped, "are you okay?"
"your offer still stands?" i asked ignoring her
"always" she said
just as she let me in her mom walked towards us, "oh hello sam! glad to see you, are you gonna be staying the night?" she asked sweetly. i bit my lip slightly, "actually i was wondering if its okay to extend my stay..?" i asked slowly
"extend?" Rowan questioned
"maybe a week... or two.." i said slowly
"what? of course you can, move in for gods sakes" her mom said hugging me.
i thanked her and me and Ro went upstairs but she passed her room, to another.
"hey your rooms that one?" i said confused, as i pointed to the other room.
"yeah but i need to show you this one." she said calmly opening the door.
it was an empty room almost. had a bed, and a dresser with a tv on-top of it.
"uh i thought this room was your moms office?" i asked
"she moved it downstairs, this room is now for you."
"for me..? wha- why?" i questioned confused.
"because i saw your face today, i know things are happening to you that you don't wanna talk about, i know your not feeling so well so, i knew you'd consider my offer, so i talked to my mom and cleared  out this room for you, to stay... for good."
"i- uh.. i dunno what to say Ro.. i uh... i cant" i said lowly
"you cant? cant what?" she asked confused.
"cant accept this, its too much Ro, i don't wanna be a burden for your parents, especially not you." i said looking around the room. it looked so nice, not worn down like mine.
"sam, your not a burden. my parents love you, and i love you. stay here, for good. you know you wont miss anything over there." she said motioning towards my house.
i sighed, "i'll earn my keep here then" i said firmly
"thats not necessarily, not stop were family. wether you like it or not." she said grabbing the duffle bag from my hands. she walked over and placed it on my dresser. "look tomorrow is Friday, ill go convince my mom to let us stay home, you unpack and get some rest alright? well talk more tomorrow. i love you."
"love you too Ro" i said slightly.
she walked out shutting the door behind her. i looked around the room and sighed. i opened the closet and saw that there were hangers in there for me. i started to hang up and fold my clothes, attempting to fill the drawers and closet.
once i finished that i threw my duffle bag into the closet and put my restroom essentials into my own restroom. it was small, cute.
i looked around the room and sighed, finally throwing myself into bed which i had been longing for.
i pulled my phone out of my pocket and saw that not only did i have missed calls but missed messages, all from Ashley.
i sighed and decided to call her back but immediately it went to voicemail.
did she block me or was her phone off? i thought
i decided to just shrug it off and put my phone on my nightstand.
i laid there in my thoughts till i heard a faint tap.
what the fuck? where did that come from?
i began looking around my room, then i heard it again, somewhat louder this time.
i turned and looked at my window. then i saw a small rock hit it again.
i furrowed my brow, and walked towards it. i looked down and saw that it was her.
she waived and i opened the window, "Ashley? The hell are you doing here?" i whisper-yelled
"can i come up?" she asked, ignoring my question.
i nodded and opened the window more and took a few steps back to give her space. she finally reached my window and reached out a hand to me, "a little help please?"
i gabbed her hand and pulled her in. Almost immediately she wrapped her arms around me; taking me by surprise.
"uh-are you okay?" i still with my arms awkwardly at my sides still.
"i should be asking you that! i thought something happened to you when you didn't answer me." she said looking at me, attempting to read me.
"wait.. how did you know i was here?" i asked
"took me forever but i found rowan's number and she told me you were here, so i thought id come see you... besides, i think we should talk about what happened you know, earlier." she said slowly.
i sighed, "okay."
"i'm sorry about my mom, shes not all bad and she doesn't hate you or anything, she was just pissed that i got into her alcohol cabinet. i'm really sorry you happened to be in the middle of it all" she finished as she sat on my bed.
i took a seat next to her, "its fine Ash, it was just weird" i said chuckling,
she looked at me for a bit, then lifted her hand to my face, "what happened here?" she asked
"i fell" i lied "its nothing" i said brushing her hand away from my face.
she sighed, still studying my face.
she bit her lip, but didn't say anything. just looked at me.
"what?" i questioned.
"i don't think we were quite finished, you know.. earlier."
now i understood why she was looking at me that way... what the worse that could happen?