In a moment between two blues. Blue of the sea and blue of the sky. I close my eyes and dream. Dream of the happiness. Dream of the laugh. I dream that i am happy and want to live. My heart is beating and loving life. But even if i dream. The sea take me back and remember me. Remeber me of the truth that break me. And my bad fellings that killing me. That she stole the smiling of my mouth. And the happiness from my heart. My mood every one called in a name. Old people say you just want attention. And the other called craziness.
I tell about my day. You don't want anything. You wake up then go back to sleep. And you don't know you stand up or go back to sleep. You don't want anything. You are hungry but don't want to eat. You want to tell someone. But you don't want to talk. You are waiting for something that never happened. You love people who hate you. You miss them but tgey don't remeber you. You hear the voices blame you 1000 times. And repeat: "you can't. Your life is empty. You are the reason. You are loser" I am done. A big monster wait for me to sleep. A big whole take my happy stories and delete them. A devil lije tgat and want more. A story began from a long time. I forget when. I said. It's just a period and go. Days and they will end. But the period don't want to end. And the days get longer. Until she become a something from me. And i can't live without it. Like my illusion follow me. Even in my sleep she dont want to leave me. Until i accept it. Not cause i love it. But it's my destiny and i should accept it. If people ask me: "how many times you can live like that?" I say : "if you know how many times i want to die. Leave the world and go so far. If you know how many times i passed crying. If you know how many times i lost in. Don't know how to act, and can't understand my life. Between 4 walls stuck in. Bored, calmely giving up. In a big gape falling deeper. "
I am tired. And from the reality cant hide. No friends, no company with me. Hold me tight and help.
I am done. And don't want to lose. I cry. And i don't want to cry. I am sad. And i don't want to be sad. I am lonely. And i don't want to be lonely.
اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.
