His Doppelganger.

2

Elle's POV

"You are all the same! What? maybe you'll say to me that you'll never leave me, that somebody is caring for you! that I need to fight! But you know what? You're all freaking trash! Toxic people who just wanted to be famous and rich!" He shouted while he's crying. I wanted to cry, to tell him how much I miss him, to hurt him just for him to feel how I felt when he died. But, he's not Angelo.

"Stop and c-calm for a while, L-luis." I stuttered as I stand still, holding his hands.

"How can I?! How?! You don't know how it feels! What a liar!" He said and pushed me away but I stand again and hold his hand. 

"Stop! Let me die! Who are you, huh? Let me go! Let me just leave this world!" He shouted which made me stunned as I remember Angelo saying the same thing. 

"Let me die, Elle. I have no use, right? Even my parents told me that. Just let me leave this world!"

And by that, Anger and sadness started to control my whole system.

"Let you go? seriously, what's wrong with you!?" I shouted and gave him a glare, tears flowing to my cheeks. It made him stopped as he stared at me indifferently.

"What are you going to say now? That you wanted to die? that you wanted to leave just because of your past and wasteful tragedies? because someone told you that you're not worth it? You're no use? because no one loves you? because you're already tired living? Is that what you think?!" I questioned him, with my loud voice that made him stopped and just cry.

"You're pathetic! You're selfish! Why?! Because you're letting that darkness living in your system to say to you that no one loves you when they are actually many! Why can't you see them? Because you're expecting too much and you're not contented with what you have!" I reasoned out, shouting at the top of my lungs.

"You don't know anything so stop saying those words! How about you? Do you know what it feels like when people don't care for you? When they don't even show their love even though--" I stopped him.

"You're the one to stop here because you don't know that you're not the only one living in this world!" I shouted as I saw him stunned by my words.

"Luis, you have to understand that people have their ways to show their love for you and they cannot always care for you because they also have their priorities! They're not obligated to check on you and to always understand you!" He stopped at that moment but I cannot control my outraged that's why I continued.

"What if you are now dead? Do you know how it feels like when someone leaves you? Do you consider what will others feel when you die? You're totally locked, Luis. You don't know how many people love you! But you? You're just throwing their love! You don't know how they live another day thinking that it was all their fault that's why you're dead. You don't know how they try to live life moving on with someone who means everything to them. Is that what you wanted?  Yes, I may be your so-called fake psychiatrist but please remember that I am also a human, I know how it feels like to locked yourself because you're thinking that no one cares for you. Please, stop being like that, because if you're being self-centered and you did that stuff, you don't know how it feels like when someone you love dies without even considering if it's okay with you." I said and cries. I just burst out everything. Every rant that I wanted to say to Angelo.

"Why you're saying this?" He said while I'm crying.

"Because I want you to live your life with colors you're meant to see. Not to die without even knowing how beautiful this world is. Please let your guard down and let me help you." I said as he collapsed that made my heart broke again and panicked at the same time.

***

He collapsed but he's now stable and sleeping in my bedroom. Everything about him really made me curious because he really looked like Angelo. He's like Angelo by the way he talks and everything. The scene earlier reminds me of how we met before - when I saw Angelo on the top of our high school building when he's depressed back then. It's killing him, it sometimes fights him and it sometimes wins in his system but instead of giving up, he fought that depression until we lived happily but not until we found out that he has stage 4 cancer that's very critical. 

It's already 2:32 am but I'm still here checking if he's okay. He's like Angelo, he's fragile like a glass that you should handle with care. But despite that, he still has that peaceful face when he's sleeping that made my lips curved. 

"Who are you, Luis? Why did you look like him?" I asked while I was staring at him. I took my two pillows and one blanket and went outside to sleep. I'm tired and scared, I don't know if this is all real or hallucinations. 

I lied down to my big sofa as I cry, remembering all the things I did with Angelo. What if he didn't die? Would he hug me right now because I'm crying? Would he kiss my forehead and say the comforting words he used to say when I'm sad? Would he love me if I became like this?

***

I woke up as I felt uncomfortable. I opened my eyes just to see that I was now on the floor with my blanket. I guess I'm not used to sleeping on the sofa that's why. I remembered what happened yesterday that's why I cooked a morning breakfast that's basically for two. I knocked on my door as I wait for him to say something for some confirmation if I can come in or not but since he remained silent, I decided to open the door and hello? this is my house! Of course, he should follow my rules!

"Uhmmm, hey! Breakfast is ready, let's go?" I asked energetically, shrugging all of the negativity inside me, but he didn't answer. He doesn't even move!

"I'm sorry for what I've done yesterday, I was just drunk that day that was why I thought you're someone whom, nevermind." I stopped as I just said the biggest lie of my whole lifetime. I was expecting that he'll not respond to me but he did! He turned around me and sit straight.

"You're L-luis right? Y-you're my f-friend's friend! H-hehe, you must be t-thinking that I-I'm a p-professional psychiatrist but since I stopped it before, My knowledge about it was now quite not understandable. B-but let's not talk a-about it. Breakfast is r-ready." I stumbled at my words as I slapped my face internally because of my mouth.

"Y-you," He softly said as I smiled because he finally calmed himself, unlike yesterday. I let out a heavy sigh as I stared at him.

"I know what it feels like, Luis. You're not comfortable with these chit chats and you want to isolate yourself away from others. Why? Maybe because you're clearly tired talking to someone whom you expect to leave you soon or you expect to not care or love you. But the real you don't want that. The real Luis will talk to me and will not be afraid to trust me. Go out on your cage and don't be such an introvert because whether you don't like it or not, I'll always talk to you so  let your guard down." I said and went towards him, which made him tremble. Is he really that scared? Maybe he's really not sociable or he already stop trusting? Or he has some serious tragedies that he can't let go?

"D-don't," He said and adjust himself away from me. He's now trembling but I insisted and went towards him. 

"Don't!" He shouted as he stands. He was about to run away from me but I held his hand and stared at him who's trembling. 

"Did I hurt you?" I asked to him that made him clenched his right fist. I held both of his hands and stared at him. 

"Did you feel hurt?" I questioned but he just stared at me.

"I know that you're stopping that, fight that, Luis." I said as he cries still, staring at my face.

This day, I saw him crying again.