More Issues Than Vogue | ✔️

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Two weeks later, I've become a totally new woman.

This time, I wasn't remotely close to being dramatic.

Kevin's visit gave me the wake up call I truly needed. I spent a majority of my life by myself - hiding behind textbooks, standing behind the crowd, doing what I wanted behind the security of a closed door. Now that I finally gained true friends who genuinely care about me, who'd go out of their way to make sure that I was okay, I stupidly shut them out because I naturally felt inclined to deal with this by myself. 

I no longer needed to be that person who had to micromanage every aspect of what went on because I had others to rely on when I needed help. My pride got in the way of me acting like a human being and admitting a weak moment. I was embarrassed I had let myself get into this situation because all anyone had ever seen me as was organized and put together. I had a stable control on everything around me and once that power was taken away, I broke down.

But I was regaining control and letting those who love me, help me. I thought about it deeply, and I have decided to make a statement to the press about what happened. Not in front of a TV, not to the paparazzi, but to the people I trusted.

Kevin, Bessa, and Tony were going to make me the subject for a joint article in the next issue of Forward. What better way to start the new year by addressing old news and putting this in the past? I knew they would write nothing but the truth in their article. I came up with the idea and proposed it to them over the phone (still banned) and they happily accepted the project. 

Sarah approved, of course.

Tonight, I was having dinner with the three of them to catch up and start discussing the article. It was a bit nerve-racking. This would be the first time I'd be in contact with the outside world. I may have forgotten what fresh air felt and smelled like, but I was excited to get back out there. 

I spent the entire day stress cleaning. My old self kicked back in and was switched on with five-hundred times more power. My kitchen hadn't looked better, the floor was spotless, laundry was hanging neatly in my closet, and I had gotten rid of the leftover pizza smell with the help of a few lit candles and air freshener. 

I felt as if a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders, as if the mess around my apartment symbolized the mess of a time I've had. Now, I could start off with a clean slate.

Kevin waited patiently downstairs. He informed me that Bessa and Tony were already on the way to the upscale five-star restaurant they had made reservations at. They knew dressing up and heading out for the occasion would help my self-esteem, a boost I really needed. 

I got dolled up. My hair was wan loose curls and I tucked in a white long sleeve blouse into a flowy black circle skirt. But the best part about the outfit was what was strapped around my ankles. I threw on a pair of familiar red heels. 

My Mary-Janes. 

It was a nostalgic moment for me. A new Haley Monroe stepping into the shoes of the old. There were bits and pieces of the old me I left in these shoes that I hoped to regain back. At the same time, there were bits and pieces of the new me I hoped to fill these shoes with. I stared at the iconic heels in the mirror, memories flooding back to me. They were the shoes I wore when I first met Nate. The shoes that were kicked off on the way to his bed back at his apartment. 

But they were also the shoes that took me back to my first night in New York. How much spirit I had, how naive I was. I had come a long way, but I'd like to think that the hopeful part of Haley was still in there - the one that couldn't begin to imagine the adventures and journeys that lay ahead of her.