Flushcrush pt 2

589 29 25

by dorkstrides

by dorkstrides

!!!Warning!!!

If you wanted a happy ending, do not read below the dotted line close to the end of this story!

If you prefer something a little more sad, go ahead and read it all. Though I should also warn you that the extended ending has mentions of suicide.

Your name is Dirk Strider. You are nearing 10 sweeps old and you have orange blood. You have just come to a realization that you wish you would have figured out a long time ago.

(f/n) (l/n). Your ex-best friend. Your ex-moirail. Oh if only you had recognized these feelings before you ran after Jake. But you were stupid, foolish, and you had your sights set on a beautiful stranger when you should have been thinking about the turmoil of feelings you had about your best friend. But now you understand. Now you're going to make things right.

You knock on the door of a hive that you haven't been to in so long. You feel like an unwelcome stranger in a place that used to be caring and familiar. For a moment, there is no answer. You start to wonder if she's here. Maybe she saw that it was you and decided not to open the door. You are about to knock again when the door opens slowly, revealing a troll that you haven't seen or talked to in much too long.

"Hey (f/n)." You said, anxiously shifting your weight from one foot to the other. You saw a flash of pain and anger in her yellow eyes as her jaw clenched. "Hello Dirk." She replied coldly, not even trying to mask her displeasure at finding you, of all trolls, at her doorstep.

You sighed. This was clearly going to be a lot harder than you thought. "Listen, (f/n), I need to talk to you. I know you hate me but this is something you've got to know." You told her. Her shoulders sagged and she stepped aside, motioning for you to enter her hive.

The place was the same as it had always been. Clean and orderly. But there was something off about it. It was harsh and unkind, when it used to be so bright and welcoming. You felt a pang of sadness as you realized that it was only cold because of you. You may not have heard from (f/n), but her friends made sure to let you know just how upset she was after you rejected her. Even Kanaya let you have a piece of her mind when she realized just how much pain you had caused the poor girl.

"So? What's so important, Strider?" (f/n) asked, snapping you out of your thoughts. You almost chickened out right then and there. You knew exactly what she was going to say to you. She would tell you to get out of her hive and to never speak to her again. You couldn't believe you were doing this. Taking a deep breath, you decided that you couldn't just turn tail and run, not after getting this far. "(f/n), I made a mistake." You began. You could see the "No shit." in her eyes without the words having to fall off of her tongue. "I know you hate me for ditching you and running off with Jake. I know it was a terrible mistake on my part and I lost the most important troll in my life for that. I shouldn't have done it, and I'm sorry." You told her.

The troll girl ran her hand through her hair, letting out a shaky breath. You could tell she was trying not to cry, but (b/c) tears still pooled in her eyes. "I don't-" She choked out, taking a breath to try and compose herself before continuing, "I don't hate you Dirk. You followed your heart, and your heart took you to Jake. You can't take all the blame for this when we both know that I was being selfish. I still am."

"(f/n), just, just let me take the blame for this one, okay? I wasn't following my heart when I asked Jake to be my matesprit. I know that now. I wasn't following anything. I was running. I was running away from you because I was so confused about my emotions and I didn't even realize it, I didn't see it at the time. I thought I really was flushed for Jake, but he was just the quickest escape. I didn't love him, I loved that he was a way to get away from you. But I'm not running anymore (f/n). I finally figured out that I wasn't pale for you. (f/n) (l/n)," You said, reaching out to wipe the (b/c) tears from her face, feeling your eyes fill with tears as well. "I always have been, and always will be, red for you."

(f/n) let out a quiet sob and pressed her face against your chest, wrapping her arms tightly around your waist. You returned the hug, kissing the top of her head. As the two of you stood in a tight embrace, tears rolling down her cheeks and yours, you could just barely hear her whisper,

"I'm red for you too, Dirk."

._._._._._._._._._._._._.

You set down your pencil and close your journal, placing it back in the drawer in which it belonged. You wiped the orange tears from your face and rubbed your aching hand. Oh (f/n). How you wish you could tell her how red you were for her. But what a shame. The love of your life had killed herself not too long after she had confessed to you. You suppose you wouldn't be nearly as upset if you hadn't been the one to find her body, (b/c) blood still leaking out of the gaping wounds in her wrists, creating a puddle around her on the white tile of her bathroom floor. It was your fault, and you'll never be able to forgive yourself for it. Maybe it'd be better if they found you…

DEAD