Passenger

Chapter 27

What am I doing?

The group had gone into the Riverman's side room for the night, turning in to sleep. The Riverman himself was tucked away in a hammock, snoring like a bull. If this was any other time, I'd be racking my brain in an attempt to figure out how exactly he was managing to do that.

But this wasn't any other time. I floated above the group, looking at all of them, full of guilt and conflict. What was I doing? Why had I made this choice? Wasn't it selfish?

No. no, it wasn't selfish. I shook myself, the other part of my thoughts barging in. It wasn't selfish to want your life back, was it? It wasn't selfish to be alive again – especially when being alive meant you could solve most of the problems people were currently having. Right?

So...why did I feel so pathetic?

I just wanted to be alive again. Being this ghost, this thing, that could interact with just one person, it was wearing down on me. I couldn't keep doing this. And the prospect of having to do it for the rest of my life – no, not just my life, the rest of eternity – I just couldn't bear it.

Yet at the same time, all I wanted to do was curl up and disappear forever.

The floorboards creaked below me. Pulled from my thoughts, I looked to see Sarah had sat up, peering out the doorway intently. I followed her eyes to see that she was watching the Riverman, listening to him snore. Once she was satisfied he was actually asleep – I mean, I assume that's what she was doing – Sarah turned and nudged Neb. "hey. Get up." She hissed.

Neb snorted, ears twitching as he opened one eye. "eh? Is it morning already?" he mumbled groggily.

"no. get Krys up. We're getting out of here."

Wait, what? Frowning, I watched as the Gnoll roused Krys, who looked just as confused as I felt as Neb relayed what Sarah had said. "leaving? But...it's the middle of the night." He questioned.

"exactly. Which is why we're leaving." Sarah slung her bag over her shoulder as she spoke, glancing back at the two of them. "come on – and stay quiet."

The other two, unsure what was happening, still decided to follow the Royal Guard Captain. The Riverman was still snoring, undisturbed in his slumber as the three crept past him and out the door.

Naturally, it was dark outside, the waning moon only providing a little bit of light to see by. Sarah led the way, heading towards the banks of the river. Krys spoke up again now that they were out of earshot of the Riverman. "Sarah, are we going to leave? In the middle of the night?"

"yes. Because I don't trust that creepy old man." Sarah stopped in front of the banks, where a small fishing boat had been moored to a large post driven into the ground. "I'm not entrusting my river crossing to that guy. We have no idea who he is, and I'm not taking any chances. We're going over on our own."

She began to untie the boat. Neb frowned. "but this is his boat! You're the Captain of the Royal Guard, and you're stealing a boat! Surely you can't be allowed to do this!"

Sarah glanced up at him. "I'm not stealing anything. I'm just commandeering it for official Royal Guard purposes – he can find his way over to the other side of the river and get it back later." Now finished untying the boat, she turned and pointed at the inside of it. "it's not up for debate. In the boat, now."

Left with little choice, Neb and Krys obliged, climbing aboard. Krys looked anxious, his wings fluttering, pressing close to his body. I floated down next to him as he took a seat. "I don't like this either, but at this point you don't really have a choice." I murmured. "Sarah's got her mind made up on this – you're better off following her, instead of getting left behind."