High-Grade Red

Chapter 6: Varmints

Flying through the air in a red-and-white letterman's jacket, a pair of bat-like wings sprouting from her back, Marceline hummed to herself as she went to visit Bonnibel. As she flew over her kingdom, she ignored the various wax-orange blimps and banners scattered around proclaiming the rule of the King of Ooo.

She streaked through the air towards the palace and landed in the window, knocking on its interior. "Yo Peebs," she cheerily whispered. "You wanna make a midnight Squeez-E-Mart run? I'm gonna suck the red outta the customers' bloodshot eyes!" She paused to laugh. "Psyche; I'll probably just get a slushy." She cocked an eyebrow as the pink-haired figure in the bed failed to react to her incursion in the slightest. Bonnie normally woke up easily when she visited. "Bubblegum?"

Marceline took a few steps towards the bed, then placed her hand on the figure's shoulder. "Bonnibel!"

The figure in the bed rolled over, revealing a waxy orange face with a golden moustache-goatee combo, and the pink hair shifted on his head, making the Vampire Queen realize it was a wig. She immediately realized who was in her friend's bed: the fraudulent King of Ooo.

Both began shouting in shock, but disgust replaced it in Marceline's voice as she realized, not only was he in her friend's bed and wearing a wig modeled after her hair, but he was also wearing her nightgown. Meanwhile, his shout turned to a sing-songy vocalization.

"What are you doing here?!" Marceline demanded, thrusting her finger at the wax man.

"Be not afraid, child," the wax idol responded, rising to his feet atop the mattress. He spread his arms and continued his speech. "It is I: the one true Princess of Ooo!"

The Vampire Queen growled as her left hand transformed into a large, furred claw and she attempted to slash at the false ruler. "Where's Bubblegum!" The self-proclaimed King of Ooo leapt over her attack, leaving a pillow to suffer the brunt of it, feathers flying out and scattering across the bed.

"Woah! Relax!" he chortled as he landed. He began bouncing on the bed, Marceline's head bobbing as she tracked him. "Bubblegum is fine, just fine." The King of Ooo smirked. "And deposed! And powerless! So crushed by defeat was she that the tyrant exiled herself to a sad cabin one the shores of Lake Butterscotch—technically still Candy Kingdom territory. But!" He takes a moment to extravagantly bow. "In my mercy, I've allowed her to remain."

Marceline snarls "You're the princess? Since when?!"

"Hmm..." the KOO pretends to think, tapping his scepter against his chin. "By the reckoning of my new Torontian calendar—Ooo's official calendar—uh... two glorious months."

"Two months," Marceline repeated, shocked. "But... then why didn't she t—" She growled in annoyance, shoving her hands into her pockets. "Bubblegum." She leapt through the window and transformed into her demon-bat-form, flying towards the lake.

Behind her, King of Ooo shouted after the Vampire Queen—actual royalty, in spite of her lack of subjects—with a conceited tone in his voice. "Tell Bubblegum I sleep in her nightgown! Tell eeeeveryoooone!"

She streaked through the night sky, over the kingdom, making a beeline towards Lake Butterscotch. There, she found the cabin to be newly renovated and a patch of sizeable pumpkins to be growing off to one side. Changing into a more demonic form of her normal self, she dropped from the air with enough speed to cause a piercing whistle around herself.

A moment later, she slammed into the ground, making a small crater and a large dust cloud. "Bonnie..." she growled in a distorted voice. She saw the former-princess on the porch, wearing jeans with leather boots, a polo shirt, and a green-and-white hat. A shotgun was across her lap.